Why did the chicken cross the road? I was hoping you could tell me–why else would I ask you a question?

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What do an eagle and a badger have in common? They both live underground...except the eagle

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because Your mother said so. Now get a life and get off this website young fellas.

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Two men walk into a bar. It turns out the bar was a lever and set off a bomb. They both died.

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Why did Suzie fall off her swing? She was dead

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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knock knock a man walks into a bar what do you call a horse with no legs dave who?

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There are two types of people in the world: humans

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What's worse than a bad test score? Getting hit buy a train!!

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Why didn't Michael J. Fox feel the Virginia earthquake? He was on vacation in Maui.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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"Do you wanna hear a funny joke?" Yeah, Sure! "A funny joke."

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Why did the man buy Trojan for his women? It's condom curtsey.

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The Game

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz he does what he wants.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? The victim of a freak genetic mutation and extremely susceptible to predators, meaning it will live a short life in the wilderness.

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How do you make Mandy Ann shut up? Clown Car

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Why did the man have a curiously-shaped scar on his cheek? He had been mauled by an owl as a child.

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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Why does Reid always have a blank stare on his face? Because he is constantly searching for the answer as to why his sister was raped, stabbed, and burned alive all right in front of his face.

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Knock knock. Is someone there?

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Why did the chicken get hit by a bus? Because he crossed the road

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What's faster than a Jew running after a penny? A car.

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What do you call a politician on fire? A tragic death for the American public..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops