How many Jews can you fit in a car? I don't know it really depends on the car, usually about 2 in the front, 3 in the back and... That's about it

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What did the mime say to the girl? .......

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roses are red violets are blue I forogt what I was doing where am I?

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How come Pluto and Goofy are both dogs, but Goofy can talk and Pluto can't? Because Goofy can walk on two legs, and is therefore superior to Pluto in Walt Disney's eyes.

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I used to tell people: step on my foot on purpose and ill FUCKlNG BREAK YOURS! Then I Evolved.. friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: Thumb me down or step on my foot if only on mistake, and I will break off both your legs and ram them up your ASS!

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Am I a cat? No, I am a human; cat's cannot type.

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Your momma's so fat: She feels excluded by mainstream clothing outlets.

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5 little monkeys jumping on the bed, one fell off and bumped his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "He has a mild concussion."

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Fred used to only visit his parents in the hospitals on weekends, because that was his only free time. Now his parents are dead and he has more free time.

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Two cows are standing on the top of North Pole and in a half-inch wind they're spanking a bottle of coconut jam. Suddenly two infrared gallopping fly past them. What's the consequence? That people shouldn't use freshly peeled lemoncakes on underwater cornfields.

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24

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Think of a number between 2 and 10? 3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375105820974944592307816406286 208998628034825342117067982148086513282306647093844609550582231725359408128481 11745028410270193852110555964462294895493038

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream ? He got hit by a bus !

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How come the blind black guy couldent read because he is dead

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Where is the last place you would find a Mexican? In a good hiding spot that you didn't think of while trying to find him.

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Why was the little kid sad at a funeral. He was actually happy and he was at six flags

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womens rights

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How do you blindfold and Asian? By using a sturdy bandanna, cloth, any other object to avert ones view.

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A black man, a jew, and an atheist are on a boat. Suddenly the boat started sinking. A mermaid would only save two of them. who do did she save? Mermaids don't exist. The all died. They were my friends.

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There is a high speed police pursuit when suddenly the suspect's car skids and crashes into a field. Two cows witness the commotion, when one turns to the other and says "Moo".

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Q.Why did the boy fail to complete his homework? A. He was a loaf of bread

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what do you call a black man drinking cool-aid? thirsty.

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you know whats not funny? the Holocaust

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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