dildos are red, vaginas are blue, mother, what have I done to you?

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no hands.

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the fat boy named biggins ate a twinkie, a man named scruffy came along and shot biggins, now biggins has no nose

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Q: How do you call a group of animals? A: Llama.

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1 + 1 = 11 Just kidding, it's 2 you moron.

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Did you hear about the pirate movie? It was rated PG-13 for sexual content/nudity, language, and some violence.

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jacob mckeand sucks his own dick, lol jokes, he has jamie for that

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How do you get a Black Person out of a tree? Well, if he is stuck call 911 itmediatly!

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you had me at "hello", no need to add "you're under arrest"

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what's the difference between two pieces of bacon and a blond girl? The blond girl is a human and it's against the law to eat her.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? I like Pie. I like Pie who? What do you mean who? Pie isn't a person, it's a thing.

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"Knock Knock" "Whos there?" "Interrupting kid with ADHD" *I did not respond, as I knew he would interrupt me before I was able to finish the sentence.*

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Peaches eat leaches, that is why sneaches live on beaches.

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How do you get 1,000 dead babies into a car? Blender. How do you get them out? Well you shouldn't. Leave the car in front of somebody that you hate's house.

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Omg you bought a Prius? Children in Africa are starving and could have used that money to buy food.

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Too bad, because UNTIL YOUR FUCKING "POWER OF HUMAN KIND" CAN SUMMON UP A FUCKING EYEBALL! NOTHING WILL MAKE UP FOR THIS SHIT! "Oh, my the good old phonebook, I will... Now... try... to... seduce... you... with... my... "goodness" As far as "oh I know where you live", well nobody here is hiding fagface! So you come out of your "darkness or shadows or whatever" and let me stab out both your fucking eyes! And we are STILL NOT GOOD! And yeah, have your faggots stop calling themselves Nero.

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What did the farmer say to the survivor of the plane crash that just crashed on his land? "Need a band-aid?"

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One day a man woke up and decided that he was going to do something with his life. He then got a haircut, took a shower and bought a nice new suit. After that he went home and cleaned up his whole house and invited his parents, that were not very close with him, over for dinner.An hour and thirty minutes before his parents got there, he went to the store to pick up some food to prepare for the very important dinner. On the way home he see's a homeless man walking on the side of the road. The man felt bad for him because he was poor so he gave him $10. He then proceeded home to make the dinner. The dinner turned out very well and he went to bed a better man.

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Whats white and sticky and falls from the sky? The Cumming of the lord

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Whats worse than being raped? Being raped and murdered.

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you and your family will die tonight

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I went to the principle's office because I had a hard time reading They tried to tell me I was lesdistic

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What's pink and shaped like a V? A pink V.

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What do you get if you have 59 apples in your right hand and 74 pints of ice cream in your right? Large hands.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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