Three ladies were seen eating ice cream. One of them was licking the ice cream. Another was sucking the ice cream and the other was biting the ice cream. One of these ladies is currently married. Which one among them is the married lady? The one with a wedding ring on.

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No Mom! No! I DON'T WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU!

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A. Why did John survive the plane crash? B. Because he was master chief and he is awesom although cortana did not which John is sad about naturally.

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What is the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first one to walk on the moon... and Michael Jackson molested little children.

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What did the squirrel say to the dog? "I have AIDS."

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How many Mexicans can you fit into a car? The bathroom is on the left, mam.

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What is the difference between a joke, and an antijoke? A joke is actually funny.

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knock knock whose there?? seth oh, come in

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What did a tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches.

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Why couldn't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he has no arms or legs. Why doesn't he have any arms or legs? Because he is a potato.

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What's the difference between a badger and a TV? Alot.

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Did you hear about the circus fire? It was intense

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set. Cuz she had no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally

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What did the senile man say to the kids on his lawn? Tree dance the gator thong for my nipples.

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Where was Sally when the bomb exploded? Everywhere.

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What do you call a black man who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because Se7en was a scary movie!

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Did you hear about the man who fell out of an aeroplane at 2000 feet? He was taking part in a charity skydive to raise money for his dying brother, a chronic sufferer of cystic fibrosis.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the farmer cross the road? To pick up the dead chicken

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What do you call a white guy with a taller black woman? A man in a deeply committed relationship.

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Moves Like AJgger- Marron 5

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Roses are red, violets are blue Most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

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Don't you just hate it when sentences don't end how you think they TESTACLES

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Yes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops