Q: What did William Wallace say to Beyonce after Taylor Swift's performance? A: Nothing, because William Wallace has been dead for some time now.

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1,984

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what do you get when you combine fire and water? alcohol

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Three men sit at a bar. A clown walks in, so the first man says, "Oh, what fresh hell is this?", gets up and leaves. Then a fairy flies in, so the second man says, "Aw, hell no!", gets up and leaves. So the third man was alone with the fairy and clown.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Shoes, socks, and mittens.

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What does the Cookie Monster eat? Nothing. The Cookie Monster is not a living, sentient being and does not require sustenance to live.

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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666

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^that joke's not funny

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Whats blue and fuzzy? blue fuzz.

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What do call a black piano player? A pianist.

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My cat used to be afraid of storms. But now it's dead.

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Knock knock! Who's there? an atheist. an atheist who oh sorry, I forgot atheists don't knock on people's doors

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What smells like shit and is covered in cheese? Sean's pizza socks.

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How do you get rid of a stalker? You throw a fridge at them!

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizza is not a group of people but in fact a dish originating in the Middle East.

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Yo mama so fat she doesn't need news, shes worldwide. ~YN~

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A mexican and a black guy are in a car. Who's driving? The chauffer, they are both rich business men.

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So theres a priest, a rabbi, and an athiest on a cliff. They all remark at the beautiful view and take plenty of pictures with their respected families.

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You copy and paster!

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A man called his dentist and asked when he should make an appointment. The dentist told him to come in around two thirty pm because that's when the next appointment was available.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was tied to the chicken

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Knock Knock? Who's their. M. M who? Me.

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Why did Suzy's neck hurt? Because it was broken

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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