Whats the difference between Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga? one of them is a women the other one is not.

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A bartender walks into the man and the bar said nothing because it was inanimate.

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How do you get a boy out of bed, you cut off his fingers.

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What happens when you mix a black guy and a chinese guy. A disfigured man

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My friend died by getting shot in the head. But he respawned back at his checkpoint.

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passenger seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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How are cars made? By magic.

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If a quiz is a quizical then what is a test? an Exam.

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A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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Q. Why can't Stevie wonder read? A. Because he is black

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Why are there cookie's in the jar? 'Cause I put cookies in the jar

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Yo momma is so fat, her total body volume is slightly larger than a normally proportioned person of smaller mass!

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Q:why did the man jump of the house A:he did not I threw a frige at him

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What's a black person's favorite thing to eat? Food.

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Okay, but cut me some slack here, its not as straight forward as it sounds, I got at least twice as many active synapses as other people do, that means twice the thought process, in video games I can for example remember twice the commands, and such. Sadly this does not mean that I can think twice as fast or twice as smart, but rather that I do so involuntarily in short spans, until I burn myself out. So be a bit nice to me, when I say that I have since I was a kid used about 2.5-7.5 mg valium, this is just because my thought process works so fast I burn out because well, I got the processor, but it burns out, excuse me my wife needs some help with her cellphone, see you soon

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A black man walks into an abbatoir.

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What happens when you cross a vampire and a werewolf? A cross between a vampire and a werewolf.

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If you have 5 dollars, and Chuck Norris has 5 dollars, you are both very poor.

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i have to tell you a knock knock joke. but you have have to start it..

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Why did Kurt Cobain commit suicide? Because it was drug related

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what's silver and red and keeps crashing into the walls? a baby with forks in its eyes

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Why did the man paint his dog blue? He has some strange mental condition and is incapable of controlling his own actions.

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I've got a shotgun with two bullets. I've got two enemies. What do I do with the gun? I go bird hunting. Kelvin Yang

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Why did the Chinese man have a cat in his oven? Because his wife had decided to divorce him that day so he threw he in the oven, and the cat happened to be in her arms at the time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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