A blonde went to a doctor for a checkup. The blonde couldn't hear the doctor 'cuz she had headphones on so the doctor took them off. A couple of minutes later she died. The doctor was curious so he put the headphones on. It was saying, "Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out..."

Zombies eat brains! (You're safe)

Why did the meme cross the road? MEME XD

Where do baby apes sleep? In apricots

What do you call Bilbo Baggins when you use him for pleasure? Dildo Baggins

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't she get up? She had no legs. *Knock knock* Who's there? Not Suzie.

why did the little girl get her hair cut? she has cancer.

If a quiz is also referred to as a quizzicle, then what is a test also referred to as? A test, really. There are no synonyms for 'test' which would result in a humorous punchline; 'exam,' 'essay' and 'evaluation' are the closest possible answers and none of them provide humor at all.

When a blonde entered a bar, she ordered a something that was a double-entendre. The bartender understood what she was trying to say, gave her her order whatever alcohol she happened to consume, and the blonde woman could not have been more courteous.

How do you count all the jews in a village? The United States Census Bureau usually has reliable data so I would start there

Violets are blue, Roses are red. The sentence before was completely irrelevant, but I needed something to say before I tell you, Your family's been murdered by the KKK.

There was a hundred dollar note lying flat on the ground. The homeless guy didn't pick it up and walked on because he didn't see it.

My tractor broke down.

What did the sniper say when a newsreporter asked what he felt when he shot a terrorist? The sniper replied: Recoil.

Whats the differwnce between a little girl and a fridge? The fridge doesnt scream when i put meat in it

a blond girl walks into a bar

Hey, have you seen Steve Wonder's house? No. Neither has he.

Whats In My Trash? Bears

why did the fat guy become fat ...COD..

How much does a Polar Bear weigh? Approximately 500 lbs

Yo Mama So Fat ... She Look Like Dis ///(*<>*)\\\ | | | | <=> <=>

Roses come in a variety of colors.

how do you stop a bus? Well, just up the road is a stop sign so the bus will stop there because it is illegal to go through a stop sign without stopping.

Want to here a joke? The First Amendment.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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