What does a person and a tree have in common? You can knock them down if you hit them repeatedly with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Roxanne's hat looks like a condom

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: Whats worse than 5,000,000 African Americans being killed? A: 1 White person being killed

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

a man walks into a bar the other man ducks

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Hearing this joke again.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what happens when you put samuel jackson on a plane with snakes? They make a movie

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What is brown and sticky? A stick

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the little gril with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man looks both ways before crossing the street he gets hit by an airplane

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you punish Helen Keller? Send her to her room until she becomes civil enough to explain what was causing her misbehavior.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why didn’t the skeleton go to see a scary movie? Because skeletons don't have eyes, and can not watch movies.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

your mom is so annoying that she has no freinds and lives alone crying every night about how her children abandoned her

thumb_up thumb_down -9

your birth certificate was an apology letter from the condom factory

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what's worst than being gay? being black

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's brown and sticky? Vomit.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I bought my daughter the Josef Fritzl advent calendar. The proceeds go towards abuse survivor charities.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you make a plummer angry? Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why is everyone always picking on ruth? because they just do

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Would anyone like to contribute to my slush fund?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's sicker than "Friday" by Rebecca Black? Hitler's kill death ratio

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A man is balancing on a bar. But it's a bar where people drink so I don't know how that works.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops