A Panda walks into a bar and orders a drink, he then shoots the bartender and leaves. The people are shocked and the panda is arrested.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream ? He got hit by a bus !

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Think of a number between 2 and 10? 3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375105820974944592307816406286 208998628034825342117067982148086513282306647093844609550582231725359408128481 11745028410270193852110555964462294895493038

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Where is the last place you would find a Mexican? In a good hiding spot that you didn't think of while trying to find him.

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Two cows are standing on the top of North Pole and in a half-inch wind they're spanking a bottle of coconut jam. Suddenly two infrared gallopping fly past them. What's the consequence? That people shouldn't use freshly peeled lemoncakes on underwater cornfields.

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24

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How do you blindfold and Asian? By using a sturdy bandanna, cloth, any other object to avert ones view.

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Why was the little kid sad at a funeral. He was actually happy and he was at six flags

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Bear walks into bar and says to eagle may I have a................... drink eagle says why the long pause hohahahohahahohaha

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womens rights

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A black man, a jew, and an atheist are on a boat. Suddenly the boat started sinking. A mermaid would only save two of them. who do did she save? Mermaids don't exist. The all died. They were my friends.

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What did the lawyer say to a lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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There is a high speed police pursuit when suddenly the suspect's car skids and crashes into a field. Two cows witness the commotion, when one turns to the other and says "Moo".

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Q.Why did the boy fail to complete his homework? A. He was a loaf of bread

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what do you call a black man drinking cool-aid? thirsty.

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you know whats not funny? the Holocaust

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GADZOOKS!

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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What did the man do when he dropped his bar of soap. He picked it up

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How come little billy couldn't ride a tricycle? Because he was born without legs due to a rare disease and therefore can't pedal.

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Why did the jewish man pick up a nickel on the street? Because he understands the value of saving money.

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Why is a budgie Because the other leg is yellow

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Why did the girl get robbed? Because her door was unlocked.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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