Guess what. I eat weed and smoke yogurt

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Why was the blonde in the bathroom for 2 hours. She had to pee really bad.

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Q: What did the chinese guy say to his friend? A: ??

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How do you know if your friend is dead? You shoot him in the face!

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Your mammas so fat, she weighs significantly more than the average person.

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why did the chicken go to the man? TO ask if he wants sex for money

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What do flowers and people have in common? They both die.

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How do you stop a bird from flying? Shoot it with a harpoon gun.

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A man is walking in the desert, alone and lost, when suddenly he finds a lamp. The man picks up the lamp and to his surprise, a genie bursts out of the lamp ! The genie says to the man: "Thank you, kind man! You have freed me from this prison I have been in for a million years. I am in your dept and will grant you three wishes." The man replies: "Wow, you've been in there for a million years and all you have to give me are three wishes?" The genie was really sad to hear of the man's lack of appreciation and flew away, leaving the man. The man eventually died of starvation and dehydration.

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John: Hey Pablo why are you standing outside Home Depot. Pablo: Because I work here.

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21

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Q: Whats worse than a dead baby in a bag? A: Please just make my hamburger.

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An ordinary man, much like your friend Brad from that one place where you used to hang out, was walking along one night, much like that night last week, and saw a star. He then wished upon that star...and kept walking.

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( . Y . )

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Hey, have you seen Steve Wonder's house? No. Neither has he.

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What's the difference between Michael J. Fox and a blender? Michael J. Fox is a successful actor starring in many movies, and a blender is a kitchen appliance.

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Chuck Norris goes to the mars to fight the marshuns he then die's soon after because there is lack of oxegen on mars and theres no marshuns.

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kknocckkck knockckkckccck hue's theeeair? TTThhe pOOOliCCee. fffor whaaa? yyouu rr arreesstedd forrr drrunkkkc dddrivvinnng! Puuut urerre frreaakkki'n hannnddss uppp!

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Confucius say: Man who fart in church probably has a medical condition and should not be made fun of because that is cruel.

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A dolphin walks into a bar. Dolphins do not have legs therefore this is physically impossible.

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What do you call a pencil that's been broken in half? 2 pencils

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How does santa deliver presents? He doesn't, because he's not real!

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks him, "Why the long face?" The horse did not reply, because horses cannot talk.

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What do you call cheese thats not yours? Somebody elses cheese

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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