Why did the man cry when he went to the doctor? He has a terminal illness progressed to the point of cure and would die in 3 hours.

Why can't a Tyrannosaurus-Rex clap? It's Dead.

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he does it the same way everybody else does.

Why did the kid cry? He had a frog stapled to his face.

Roses are gray Violets are gray I'm colorblind.

What did the explorer say to the new species Oh look it says squirtle let's call it squirtle Oh look it say woof let's call it poochyena

Q: How do you stop a baby from crying? A: You hit it with brick.

Sticks and stones may break my bones and they can also break cars.

How do you make a tissue dance? Blow a little boogie in it!

A man walks into a bar. He backs up, unwraps it, and enjoys its chocolatey deliciousness.

how many aliens does it take to change a light bulb? i wouldn't know, i have never seen one and there is the off chance that they don't even exist

What is black, white and red all over? A black, white and red pen.

women's rights.

what do you call a black man drinking cool-aid? thirsty.

What do you call an englishman who wakes up in Africa Confused

have you heard of the new german microwave? it seats about 30

WUT SMELLS ? my poo

A Boy Walks Up To A Frog At the Bus Stop And Says, “Why Are You So Upset?” And The Frog Replied, “I’m Waiting For The Bus Because My Car Just Got TOAD!”

Whats more painful than falling onto a sharp stone? Suffering the loss of your mother and newborn brother in a tragic car accident on your birthday.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because its a horse and cant speak or understand english and gallops out of the bar knocking over a few tables and stools.

Where is the last place you would find a Mexican? In a good hiding spot that you didn't think of while trying to find him.

What do you say if you see your TV floating in the middle of the night? Wow, I need to lighten up on the acid.

A father walks in on his kid masturbating to pictures of horses and promptly divorces his wife.

Whats worse then the quote "Do it, hit her!" The quote "Do it, Hitler!"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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