Where can you find elephants? That depends on where you leave them.

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw a blonde? 3.

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A man goes to the doctor and is told, "you have cancer." He then spends his last days writing a bucket list, but losing his leg in a wood chipper before he could complete a single item on his list

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What do retards say when someone knocks on the door... NOBY HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.....................and that concludes our moment of silence

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What does a bird and a human have in common? They both use long, hard sticks.

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Did y'all see Lafell catch that pass? Neither did I

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What's the only thing a Black Hole can't absorb? Nothing. It absorbs everything, even light.

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Whats the difference imbetween a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to hit with a sledge hammer an the other is a watermelon

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knock knock get lost!

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Wanna hear a joke? Denver Broncos.

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A drunkard stumbles into the bar. Now he's got thousand's of dollars in medical bills.

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What's a pirate's favorite school subject? Pirate math.

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Why didn't the parakeet eat my diarrhea? I already ate it.

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What do you call a man with a shovel through his head? Unless he was carrying ID when he died; John Doe.

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Your mother is so fat when she jumps she comes backs down.

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What's big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? Your mom.

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knock knock, Whos there ?? Johnny. Come in fish.

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead dive off a yacht. Unfortunately the yacht is in a shop and all 3 of them sustain injuries following impact with the concrete floor.

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How do you fit a whale into a truck bed? You can't, whales live in the ocean.

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What do you do if you see an alien landing? This depends entirely on the circumstances under which the landing takes place. It also depends on the observed nature of the alien,but given the high unlikelihood of this occurrence, one may be safe in the knowledge that he or she will never have to deal with such a mental state of stress.

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What does Pontiac stand for? Nothing. Pontiac's were discontinued

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Why did moral man run out of morals? Moral: LEAVE MORAL MAN ALONE! BUAHAHAHA LEAVE HIM ALONE! BUAAAAAAAAHAHAHA!

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke her face

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Why did the boy cry? Because he had a frog stapled to his face. Why did the boy cry harder? Because it queefed in the boys mouth.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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