Knock Knock Go Away

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Josh Moran sticks polish sausage up his ear and moves it back and forth while squeezing his balls until they rupture.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did Martin have to retake his exams? Because Martin is a right royal Dumbass.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's better than having sex with your mother? Nothing. I'm in love with her, son.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? A: They beat her.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I STUCK MY TESTICLE IN A BLENDER!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A green-painted man walked into a bar and confused a blonde, bar-tending horse with a tale of rape in the holocaust involving an amputee child riding a fridge on a plane with a pig, a duck, a chicken, a lawyer and countless men of various ethnicities, religious faiths and sexual persuasions. Together, they changed a lightbulb, ate wormy apples and agreed upon the colour of roses and violets respectively.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the irishman go to the bar? because he was a designated driver and was picking up his friend.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Yo mamas so stupid that she has a condition called autism

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the psychiatrist say to the man when he walked into his office naked and wrapped in saran wrap? The doctor prescribes him tablets to treat his bi-polar tendencies.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Two guys walk into a bar. The Third ones a duck

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why did the man die? he was shot

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's the difference between a BMW and a murder victim? I don't have a BMW in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Jimmy Saville

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Come on, I am trying to cheer you up a bit, honestly how high?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are red, Violets are red, Shit I'm bleeding.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock Knock Who's there? Banana Bananas can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A black person walks out of KFC

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Man 1: Ask me if I'm a tree. Man2: Are you a tree? Man1: no.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side of the road because apparently their was something on the other side that appealed to the chicken. It was probably your mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the child with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A cow walks into the butcher shop, he looks around then mourns the loss of his brothers

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops