An American and Russian are arguing about their country. The American says "I can do things you can't. I can walk into the White House and into the Oval Office. I can bang my hands on my President's desk and say "Mr. Obama, I don't like the way you're running your country." The Russian says, "I can do that." The American says, "No, you can't." The Russian says, "Sure I can. I can go to Vladimir Putin's office and say "Mr. President, I don't like the way Mr. Obama's running his country."

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Congress back then: No sooner had I ended this prayer than a pederast farted on my right. "Hah! a good omen," said I, and prostrated myself; then I burst open the door by a vigorous push with my arse, and, opening my mouth to the utmost, shouted, "Senators, I wanted you to be the first to hear the good news; since the war broke out, I have never seen anchovies at a lower price!"

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What has an orange t shirt A dick I lied about the shirt

thumb_up thumb_down -17

If strippers are exotic dancers then drug dealers are to exotic pharmacists.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What does a black person use to chop a tree down? An Ask.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Kumquats Daffodils Alka-Seltzer Serendipity Dewey Decimal System Buccaneer Avuncular Pantaloons Weasels Alligator Chewbacca Sasquatch

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What came first -- the chicken or the egg roll?

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's worse than carrying a heavy suitcase? Poisoning children.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why was timmy in the well? He had autism.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q: What did the chinese guy say to his friend? A: ??

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How do you know if your friend is dead? You shoot him in the face!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

An old jewish man, an irish man, and a young mexican woman in her mid 20's are on an island. They eventually become hungry to a extremely ravishing extent. The jew cries out: "I can't take the thought of consuming man, because I am only allowed to consume kosher" The Mexican says: "Alright" The Irishman says: "O.K. Until then lets head over to Timilio's... I hear they are a fine establishment and also serve Kosher meals."

thumb_up thumb_down -19

a man in a black van pulls up to a kids house and offers him icecream the kid points out that since it is summer and black absorbs heat, that the icecream will have melted

thumb_up thumb_down -19

The awkward moment when you have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why was the girl crying? Because she was brutally raped

thumb_up thumb_down -19

"Is the Pope a Catholic?" Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why was the blonde in the bathroom for 2 hours. She had to pee really bad.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Whats worse then a hundred dead babies? One trying to eat its way out.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Guess what. I eat weed and smoke yogurt

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Did you know Helen Keller had a playhouse in her backyard? Well if you didn't, it was quite nice. I was her neighbor.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Snooki

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Your mammas so fat, she weighs significantly more than the average person.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

John: Hey Pablo why are you standing outside Home Depot. Pablo: Because I work here.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

21

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops