Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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why'd the chicken cross the road? he didn't what kind of farmer lets their chickens out on the streets, they get crunk you know

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Racecar is spelled the same forwards and backwards. Masturbation does not work.

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Why did carly drop her groceries Carly is a cow

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What did the boy with no social skills say to the bully? I KNOW U ARE BUT WHAT AM I

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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if a tree falls in the forest does it make a sound? if a tree falls in the forest and it falls on a mime, does anyone care?

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A man rode into town on Friday and stayed a while and then left on Friday how did he manage this?

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Roses are red violets are ponies I dont know what to say mircowave

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Wanna know something funny? Your face

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Think of a fruit that isn't an orange ... You're thought of a pear, didn't you?

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Knock knock. Who's there? The pizza delivery guy. Oh hi.

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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews are productive members of society. -Canis

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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Why does 1 + 1 = 2? ....seriously P

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A duck quacks in a mountain range. No one on or nearby the mountains hears the duck because ducks' quacks don't echo.

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whats black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white? a penguin rolling down the hill. what black and white and laughing? the penguin that pushed him.

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what is worse tahn finding a worm in your apple? finding hitler in your house.

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Whats 10-5(45+76)? please help my homework is due next class and i am currently to busy worrying about my dad's cancer to think about this problem.

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You're at a funeral & your phone goes off and the ringtone is dead and gone

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Your Mom is so fat... I'm sorry I didn't mean that.. I have abandonment issues.

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There are two cowboys in the kitchen. One says to the other, "I feel at 'home on the range.'" To which the other replies, "Is that because of your extensive culinary background?" The first cowboy breaks down in tears because he realizes he's not pursuing what he truly loves.

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What state is round on both ends and high in the middle? Ocoloradoo.

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what did the boy say? please please please please goout with me

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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