Knock Knock Who's There AT&T Guy Mom it's for you

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A: My dog has no nose! B: How does he smell? A: He cannot smell, because he has no nose.

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What did the sushi say to the bee? Nothing, a piece of sushi can't talk and a bee wouldn't listen, stupid.

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Why were The Beatles so popular? People across the world enjoyed their music.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

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QUIT PUSHING DAD GUMMIT!!!

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what is the difference between Stephani and a whale? A whale is skinnier... get the harpoonns

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You know I can, and I already have, as once the mind knows its getting certain medications, it spends the energy required in order to achieve the effect, this is what psychiatrists and those assholes would call "psychological effect". With that said, I am still tired, and the stimulants are waking up my ouchies too, so I think ill get some sleep and dont worry, I can sleep with any stimulants as long as I can use my mind. By the way, my "hypnosis senses" are not hypnosis by themselves, but in order to hypnotize oneself and other, one must learn to read body language and stuff like that, something which I now do subconciously because I am experienced. Alice is calm again, her hands are shaking but she is cold, I am pretty sure she is far more tired than I am, so I kinda ordered her to go home, this guy can type for me. Just want you to know that I am doing fine now, and that the PTSD is much less severe than before as my brain no longer remembers the voice and looks my parents had back then, so I just feel my nose getting punched and breaking, its... Surprisingly annoying, so ill get some sleep, if nothing else it will help Alice get better, and I wont lie, I need it.

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There are two cowboys in the kitchen. One says to the other, "I feel at 'home on the range.'" To which the other replies, "Is that because of your extensive culinary background?" The first cowboy breaks down in tears because he realizes he's not pursuing what he truly loves.

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knock knock get lost!

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There once was a baby named Paul Bunyan who was as big as a house. His mother died at childbirth.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms.

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What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend........... Wiped his ass

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face", the horse said nothing; because it is a horse.

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Question: How did the chicken get to the other side of the road? Answer: Too find his joint.

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why'd the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

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Q: What's the longest word in the dictionary? A: According to the Oxford English Dictionary (second edition), it is "Pseudopseudohypoparathyroidism."

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What do a spoon and a platypus have in common? Nothing.

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What's the worst part about censorship? **** *** **** **** *** **** *** ********.

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What is the difference between ashes and a jew? A lot

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How do you make a homeless person cry? cut an onion in front of him.

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i once thought i could do crytal meth but then i thought naw better not

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why did the lady fall out the window? someone threw axe at her

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I really might try and kill myself when I get home tonight.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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