What do you call a dead, black child? Dead.

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The president, Oprah and Abraham Lincoln are sitting in a crashing airplane. lol

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After tesco's horse burgers, what's next? My lidl pony

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Roses are red, violets are blue! Damn, the florist messed up the colors again!

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What can fly for only a short period? A jumper.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Get in the car, Robin.

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Why did the white girl fuck the mexican? Because her teacher told her to do an "essay"

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Why was the Cubs fan sad? His wife just left him.

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Your momas so fat her doctor put her on a diet plan.

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What's the best way to toss a salad? With a salad spinner from the home shopping network.

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How long does it take a black woman to have a baby? Nine months, give or take a few days depending on whether she goes into labour early or not.

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Why won't lance Armstrong survive 2012 Because he has cancer

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what do you think when you see someone throw a man with no arms and legs into the ocean? chances of survival are minimal

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What did the Dinosaur say to the other dinosaur when he saw a huge meteor? Oh hey look a meteor.

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Why do you never see hippopotamus hiding in trees? They are really good at it.

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How can you kill someone who looks like a squirrel? With an bomb. That would kill most people.

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woman's rights

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Charlotte Bobcats

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What did the blonde do when her car broke down? Made a Facebook status about then called animal control.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a bed? A: The victim of a serious car accident in a hospital bed.

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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why do my feet smell so bad? because i havent washed them for 5 days

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops