You're so gay that you lost your virginity to someone of the same gender.

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither has he.

Yo mama is so so skinny, when she sits around the house, she sits comfortably in every chair. - Stephen Colbert

Roses are red Violets are blue God makes things beautiful... What happened to you

squirrels playing in the street=dez bryant playing tennis

Holy crap it's a talking muffin!

knock knock, Whos there ?? Johnny. Come in fish.

What did the boy do before school? Jacked off.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The horses name was Friday.

What do you call a zebra without stripes? A stripeless zebra.

Yo mamma's so fat it's a legitimate medical condition

New Name for Jersey Shore: American Whorer Story

What do retards say when someone knocks on the door... NOBY HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.....................and that concludes our moment of silence

What goes good with coca cola? Thirst

A: My dog has no nose! B: How does he smell? A: He cannot smell, because he has no nose.

Why were The Beatles so popular? People across the world enjoyed their music.

What did the sushi say to the bee? Nothing, a piece of sushi can't talk and a bee wouldn't listen, stupid.

There once was a baby named Paul Bunyan who was as big as a house. His mother died at childbirth.

Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

what is the difference between Stephani and a whale? A whale is skinnier... get the harpoonns

QUIT PUSHING DAD GUMMIT!!!

There are two cowboys in the kitchen. One says to the other, "I feel at 'home on the range.'" To which the other replies, "Is that because of your extensive culinary background?" The first cowboy breaks down in tears because he realizes he's not pursuing what he truly loves.

You know I can, and I already have, as once the mind knows its getting certain medications, it spends the energy required in order to achieve the effect, this is what psychiatrists and those assholes would call "psychological effect". With that said, I am still tired, and the stimulants are waking up my ouchies too, so I think ill get some sleep and dont worry, I can sleep with any stimulants as long as I can use my mind. By the way, my "hypnosis senses" are not hypnosis by themselves, but in order to hypnotize oneself and other, one must learn to read body language and stuff like that, something which I now do subconciously because I am experienced. Alice is calm again, her hands are shaking but she is cold, I am pretty sure she is far more tired than I am, so I kinda ordered her to go home, this guy can type for me. Just want you to know that I am doing fine now, and that the PTSD is much less severe than before as my brain no longer remembers the voice and looks my parents had back then, so I just feel my nose getting punched and breaking, its... Surprisingly annoying, so ill get some sleep, if nothing else it will help Alice get better, and I wont lie, I need it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...