What happens if you shoot a chicken? It dies.

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How do you keep an elephant from charging? Shoot it with a high powered gun right between the eyes.

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how many babies does it take to paint a barn? depends on how hard you can throw them

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Wanna hear a joke? Twilight

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If you see a fat man, what do you say to him? Hopefully nothing mean, seeing as that would be demoralizing to the fat man.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted a car to kill him so he can get to the other side with his wife and son. In other news,I had a very nice chicken cutlet and scrambled egg dinner.

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What did the midget say to the leprechaun? Nothing.....midgets don't usually converse with leprechauns....and leprechauns aren't real.

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Your momas so fat her doctor put her on a diet plan.

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what's more interesting than capital gains tax? (there's no answer)

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A minor, her mom, her aunt and a marine went out drinking...they had a fun night

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what do you call a joke that is not a joke? not a joke

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a. how did you shoot the rabbit? b. with my banana

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yo mama so stupid i'm fairly certain she has a learning disability.

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There is more than one way to skin a cat. I used a potato skin peeler.

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What's black and blue and afraid of sex The twelve year Old boy in my trunk

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Donald Trump

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Why did the plane crash. its pilot was a loaf of bread.

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How do you make a wall a darker shade of red? You throw the baby harder.

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John and Henk are walking down the street. John kills a man, the cops are coming and John runs away. Why didn't Henk ran away? Henk was a rock

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whats worse than school? Summer school

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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Why was the little boy crying? Because he had an undescended testicle

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how many jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? none their all dead.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops