Knock Knock. Go Away!

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What did the man with cancer say to the Holocaust survivor? "I have cancer."

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Look how far I can kick this bucket

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What is the difference between a rat and an italian? nothing.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house? A: babies lack the intelligence and motor skills to accomplish such a task so it is not practical to hire them for a painting job.

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I like my coffee like i like my woman.... with big titis.

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A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

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An English man walks into a pub.

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A blind man walks into a bar. I mean a fence.

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Whats the difference between a jewish man wearing a fedora and glass of almond milk? Ones a glass of almond milk.

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Why can't black people swim? Cause poop don't float!

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Why was Jimmy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his forehead.

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Why was the blonde girl stupid? She had suffered sever brain damage the previous month and was still recovering.

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whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew?... Never mind, that was a stupid question.

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Where can you find elephants? That depends on where you leave them.

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whats black and white and red all over????? a zebra who got shot

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A man walks into a bakery and buys a doughnut. He then starts to drive home when he realised that he'd forgoten to eat the doughtnut and has to returne to do so.

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You know what really pisses me off? When I drink too much coffee.

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why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Three black men get out of a taxy. They split the bill evenly and get on with their day... By Wade

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What's the difference between and elephant and a banana? An elephant is grey.

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A fat guy runs a marathon. He dies of obesity and dehydration.

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What's worse than opening your pantry door and finding nothing desirable to eat? Repeated high voltage electrical shocks to the anus.

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Why did the condom drive over his pet mac and cheese? Because his uncle was not george bush.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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