There's two people, one wearing a nice sweater and the other is not. The one without has to walk the dog, so he asks the other guy if he can have his sweater. He says "No but you can wear it."

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Why did the man destroy his piano? He may have been frustrated with himself for making mistakes during practice.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Sure, if my waifu aproves, hell, the more the hornier. CONDOMS? ARE YOU INSANE? CONDOMS ARE FOR PUSSIES... ..:WHIIIIIICH sorta makes sense so okay, my for a moment I thought you where not gonna go trough with this... Nah just kidding, I already got you, now if you want to break free I am gonna be like "MEH!" So, uh, you shaven or not? Please dont be "trimmed", sometimes it just looks like a pussy with a mustachio, thats bullshit.

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How do you drown a blond? Glue a mirror to the bottom of a pool!

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Why couldn't the white child dunk the basketball? His legs were amputated and he has been confined to a wheelchair.

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What do you call a hard working black man? A hard working black man.

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How do you kill a blonde? There are countless ways to complete such a task all of which have infinite variations.

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I hate chocolate. I hate it so much. It sickens me. The only thing I hate more than chocolate is people that like chocolate. I hate them even more. Do you know what happened to the last person I met that liked chocolate? NOTHING

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vaginas are pretty!!!!

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Whats worse than malaria? Dying from it.

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knock knock piss off

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penus

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Evolution is real. Why? Pikachu evolves.

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What's it called when Justin Bieber has sex? Sex. The specific person partaking in sexual intercourse does not change the term used to describe it.

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What do you call a person who dies in march A dead person

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Did you hear about the 4'10" psychic that escaped from prison? It's on the news! "Small Medium At Large."

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1 man walks up to a tiger and eats cheese toast with brownies and butter and wonders about the stars the end james

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i am and me is i

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Dance is a sport

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What was Steve Jobs' favorite fruit? Grapes.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because its a horse and cant speak or understand english and gallops out of the bar knocking over a few tables and stools.

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What did the pregnant teenager get for her birthday? An abortion.

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What does a Jewish man do when he sees a new car? Doesn't buy it because he puts his money in a fund.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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