Why didn't the parakeet eat my diarrhea? I already ate it.

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Knock knock Who's there? Doorbell repairman

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What's the difference between? Your mom.

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My grandpa asked me a very important question right before he kicked the bucket. Grandpa: Son, how far do you think I could kick this bucket?

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a terrorist.

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What's sad about 4 people in a Lamborgini going over a cliff? It was my car.

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How many Jews does it take to fix a gas leak?...

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How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None.

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What's 2+2? Gonorrhoea

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Why did the girl scream? Someone shot her mom

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Knock, Knock Whos there? Docter Docter who? Yes its me, Craig Who your docter, I have the test results back Im afriad its positive,you've only got a few months left

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how do you get a rat out the house you lift it up and put it outside

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what sad about 4 mexican dieing in a car crash??? My car

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Q:Why do black people wear fitted caps? A: So pigeons don't shit on their lips.

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HEY YOU!!!!

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Why does the man with no legs call for help? because he woke up to find that he had no legs.

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Why did Susan fall out a tree? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Susan

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How do you fit 3 squirtles two bulbasors and a charmander in a smart car You poke em on

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whats the best thing about polio...death

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Ask me if my name is Jennifer. Is your name Jennifer? No.

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knock knock father: who's there? young man: it's I, your son. father: ....... what? young man: dad let me in, I'm sorry! father: i don't have a son.... young man: but.... i love you... father: get off my porch, my son is dead to me. (whimper, fading footsteps)

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My mom always said it was fun to jump into a pile of leaves... That was before she was devoured by a 10 ft. scorpion.

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Q: why do english soldiers have red coats? A: to cover the blood stains, so they can still lead their platoons when they are shot. why else?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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