What did the man say to his wife? We are both men. Apart from you.

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one day a grape was in the sun raisin

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You're a wizard Harry! I am?

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When the black man was driving his car, why did he stop in front of the gun store? Because his car's velocity reached zero at that location.

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-I once had a dog with no legs, and do you know how I named him? -...? -I didn't name him, he wouldn't come...

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. No he doesn't.

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how many jews can you fit in an oven? -well zero because the conventional oven cannot fit a full sized human

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My cat used to be afraid of storms. But now it's dead.

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whats funnier than a penguin playing a banjo? i don't know because I've never seen one and probably never will because it is a highly improbable event.

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Why wasn't the bat nocturnal? It was dead.

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What happens if you fight Chuck Norris? You might lose or win.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 8 9 jokes numbers dont have mouths

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Why did the little girl get a new tricycle? To cope with her father's death

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizza is not a group of people but in fact a dish originating in the Middle East.

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1,984

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A mexican and a black guy are in a car. Who's driving? The chauffer, they are both rich business men.

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How many ants does it take to fill an apartment? It depends on the size of the apartment.

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A blond, teen girl with a pink hat and glasses goes to the doctor, and she says, "Doctor, doctor! I keep hearing bees, whislting, humming birds, and Tom Jones! Whats happening to me?!" The doctor says, "Tinnitus".

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Why couldn't Carys answer the phone? - She had an ear infection.

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Roses are red, violets are blue Most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

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A man walks into a bar.... no wait! It's a horse! A man walks into a horse...

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How many licks does it take for a pedophile to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Given a simple random sample of pedophiles, they will most likely have the same statistical standard normal distribution of tongue sizes and saliva efficacy as any other part of the population. Therefore, that question in regards to the tongues of pedophiles is irrelevant and remains unanswered.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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Did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? No? Don't worry, he didn't either

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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