Roses are red Voilets are blue I have a gun Get in the Van

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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What's the deal with airplane food? Why don't they serve it as a complimentary part of the flight anymore?

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There are 3 poeple on an air plane. The pope, a boy scout, and barak obama. The plane is about to crash and there is only 2 parachutes. omba said im the president of the united states and one of the worlds smartest african americans so he jumped out. The Pope told the boy scout " i lived a long happy life you take the last parachute and jump." The boy scout replied what there are still 2 left the " worlds smartest negro jumped out with my backpack.

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What's the difference between a North Korean and a South Korean? Nothing, they're both chinese.

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You wanna see my secret freckle? NO! How about my butt? What!!!!!!!

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Why couldn't 7 multiply itself by 18? Because there were two people having sex in between them.

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A black man walks into an abbatoir.

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a boy walks into the doctors office."my knees hurt...i poked it like this"the doctor says "listen kid...u are a really good kid but u didnt really injure your knee and im sick of you!!"

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Why did the jewish man pick up a nickel on the street? Because he understands the value of saving money.

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Your momma's so broke she might be eligible for government assistance. Seriously she should totally look into it.

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You’re so dumb that many individuals find your intelligence inferior.

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tight butthole 4 lyfe.

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How do you get a one armed Pollack out of a tree? Hold his family at gunpoint.

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What did the Asian man say to the Mexican man? Nothing, due to the language barrier.

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Q: How do you stop a skunk from smelling? A: Lethally inject it.

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Bear walks into bar and says to eagle may I have a................... drink eagle says why the long pause hohahahohahahohaha

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Do you want to hear a funny joke? Me too.

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What's worse than stepping on chewing gum A clown throwing bricks at orphans

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Q: what's brown and rhymes with snoop? A: Dr. Dre

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Mel Gibson and a Jew walk into a bar They proceed to have a pleasant conversation and both take taxis home

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what did Sandra bullock say to Jesse James? I hate your fickin a**!!:)

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head are trapped on a desert island together After many days without food, they resort to cannibalism. The blonde eats the brunette, and the red-head eats the blonde. The red-head eventually dies once the water supply runs out.

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hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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