My mother forgot to make me a sandwich today.

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You're*

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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how do you decrease the unemployment figures? abolish lidle, aldi, and netto

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You know what's funny? Clowns.

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What did the collage professor say to the plumber? Hi.

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One man's trash is another man's treasure is a horrible way to tell a kid that he's adopted

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Why did the ginger cross the road? To tell the police that her family had been taken hostage.

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What do bicycles and platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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Man: Want to hear an anti joke? Woman: ok Man: Why did the the girl fall off her bike? Woman: I don't know. Man: She got hit by a refrigerator. Woman: ok

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I was going to tell a Holocaust joke, but I Jews not to. Anne Frankly, it's disrespectful. I'm sure you did Nazi that Hitlerious anti-joke coming.

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So a dog walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Quickly, someone give me the number for animal control."

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Why was the boy sad? He had just had his legs amputated and will never walk again.

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What did the foot say to the other foot? Nothing, because they are feet.

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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row row row your boat gently down the stream rape

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Why do everytime I go to toilet for number 2. I look into the toilet to see if this one's nicer than the last one.

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Do you know what a third world bathroom smells like? Crap

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~Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? ~ ~He was dead. ~ ~Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? ~ ~He was stapled to the monkey!!!

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why did the man die? he was shot

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the old man fell down the stairs and broke his leg, he then went to the hospital and got a cast. later that day he went home and ate soup

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What happened to your hamster? It died.

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Why do you always find a dead baby in the last place you look? Because once you've found it, you stop looking.

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Q. What was the the cancer's patients favorite song? A. Radioactive

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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