My dog has no nose! Then how does he smell? Terrible!

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Why don't you play uno with Mexicans? Because they collect all the green cards.

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Im good at other things... ...like giving handshakes

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What's similar between a boat and a plane? Both can fly except for the boat

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The frightened girl did everything the man said. " Open your legs. Bend over..." She was playing Simon says and was afraid to loose. It wasn't rape, which her sister had experienced while traveling in 2007.

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A middle-class family went away on vacation. While they were gone, a pyromaniac burnt down their house. Their cat was still inside.

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What did the hat say to the other hat? Nothing, because hats don't talk, stupid.

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A grasshopper hops into a bar and orders a drink. "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" exclaims the bartender. "You have a Melanoplus Differentialis?" asks the grasshopper. "Yes."

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Why are tootsie rolls brown? because they are....

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Q: What happened to the blonde who tried to commit suicide? A: She died.

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Sarah went to church one day and went into the confession booth with her pastor. He made sure nobody was in the church, and proceeded to allow her to confess. He didn't molest her. However, when Sarah got home her abusive stepfather beat her to death in an alcoholic rage and shot himself. It was on the news.

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What's the difference between Chuck Norris and broccoli? A lot.

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Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes.

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what happened to the boy who crossed the street. he got shot by a bus

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What's yellow, long, hard, and moves up and down? A banana in an elevator...

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why did your parents die? because I thought it was funny...

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Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy, But I have cancer.

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Who thinks amy mc quire is really stuiped

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Milkman! Milkman who? ....Timmy....I've been coming here for FOURTEEN YEARS! AND YOU CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER MY NAME?!?! I drove your mom to the hospital when you were born since your father is such a deadbeat. I helped pick out your name!! I'm sorry I wasn't born into wealth like you. I'm sorry I have to go door to door handing out milk for other people! I have been coming here every week for FOURTEEN YEARS! But no Timmy, no, don't try to remember my name. Just forget about all the laughs we have had. Or that time i left my family on Christmas because your mother needed me to go find you that Turbo man doll. I saved you from a burning vehicle! I helped you win your third grade science fair! Remember? I have a picture of us and that robot right here in my wallet. I show it to people all the time! Here's me and my...my pal Timmy. Well Timmy, this is it. You shan't see me again.

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Why did the man jump off a cliff? Because he was committing suicide.

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Police Officer: Please step out of the car, sir Jimmy: Xbox...

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have you seen Stevie Wonders house? Nope. oh well sorry for bothering you

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Am I a cat? No, I am a human; cat's cannot type.

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what did the chinese guy say to the black guy? hello

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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