Q. Where do you find Indonesia A. On a map

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A Muslim terrorist walks onto a bus, with the mindset to blow him and the other 27 people. Before he steps onto the bus, he realizes the error in his ways and decides to not follow through. He goes to the airport instead.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot had a seizure.

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Why couldn't Harry Potter get a job at Mc Donalds? Because he isn't real.

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A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

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Hey girl, are you from Jamaica? Cus ja makin me go temporarily insane.

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Q: How do you make scrach paper? A: Take a paper and scrach it.

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So there's this crazy married couple in a old trailer down the road. They are both drunk. The man asks his blond wife, ''Isn't it about time we get married?'' The wife replies ''I wouldn't marry a ugly thing like you!'' The next day, they file a divorce.

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

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What do you call a dolphin that drives a Mercedes Benz? Nothing. Dolphins can't drive.

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An Asian, white, and a black man decide to play Russian Roulette. The Asian goes first and shoots himself in the head. The white man picks up the gun for his turn. The black man runs down the street screaming. Cops see him and the white man holding the gun, both are sent to jail for life for the murder of their friend.

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knock knock whos there ? Jordan Jordan who ? Jordan Walters

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http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/popular/a-paper-cut-is-a-trees-last-revenge

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Who thinks amy mc quire is really stuiped

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What does Santa Claus keep in his gardening shed? Nothing. Santa Claus isn't real.

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You're flying over a lake in your canoe and the wheels fall off. How many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse? None! because ice-Cream doesn't have legs!

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Why did they monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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Do you know what it looks like when you put a cat in the microwave for 3 minutes? I don't know either because I close my eyes when I masturbate.

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What do you call a fish that isn't moving? Dead.

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Why doesn't Michael J. Fox drive a stick shift? He was raised in an urban area and was only taught to maneuver with vehicles that shifted automatically.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What is funnier than 24? 25! hahahahahaha!

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A donkey walks into a supermarket and asks the cashier "Where are the potatoes?" The cashier replies "aisle 3" The donkey goes to aisle 3 And there are no potatoes

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Give a man a fish, feed him for a week. Teach a man to fish, he'll starve to death. Provide this man a fishing rod, and now finally you're doing something helpful.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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