What's better than eating baby? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

If a fish eats fish bait, and a dog eats dog bait, what does a master eat? Anything he feels like eating at the given moment provided it is in accordance to his diet and beliefs.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why Can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock, knock. Who's there? Polite cow who recognizes normal social cues and civilly waits for its turn to contribute to a conversation. Polite cow who recognizes normal social cues and civilly waits for its turn to contribute to a conversation who? Moo.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Once upon a time there was a nice old man who loved to ride his bike... He unfortunately died when he had a heart attack.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

My mom always said it was fun to jump into a pile of leaves... That was before she was devoured by a 10 ft. scorpion.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man walks into a bar and orders an alcoholic beverage. The bartender serves him and inquires about the man's day. The man says nothing, drinks his beverage, pays his tab and walks out.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the difference between the sky and the ocean? They're both blue

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How many jews can fit into a car? 2 in the front, 3 in the back, 6 million in the ash tray

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is green, slimy and has 8 legs? Uncle Martin

thumb_up thumb_down +1

If a bear was mad he would be beary angry.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the sushi say to the bee? Nothing, a piece of sushi can't talk and a bee wouldn't listen, stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man walks into a bar. Except its a metal bar, and he fractures his skull on it. He died in the hospital a few hours later

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why does Mario wear coveralls? Because it makes practical sense for his full time job as a plumber.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Snarf Nuggets

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why wasn't the drunk driver arrested when he killed a man? Because he died as well.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did I kill the Muslim because I'm smart

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Row row row your boat Right to KFC Put some kool-aid in your cup And toast to you and me

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you make a puppy stop barking? Throw a brick at it.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops