How many jews can you fit into a car? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and a thousand in the ash tray.

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When is the best time to eat? When you feel like it.

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What did the man with the knife say to the ostrich? Run or I'll stab you!

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How would you punish Helen Keller? Make her read a basketball.

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Why did the man put his penis in the baby? Because it's warmer than a watermelon.

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Nothing.

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Q. What do you call 2 black men on a bike? A. Organised Crime

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That awkward moment when you wonder why this person keeps stepping on you, and you realize that you’re a shoe.

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Chuck Norris can cook ramen noodles with a microwave.

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What goes in your mouth long and hard, and comes out soft and sticky? A stick of bubblegum.

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Adam Claypool walks into a bar. He immediately sucks the bartender's dick because he is the biggest queer anyone has ever seen

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Who are you texting? YOUR MOTHER.

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if life thows you lemons ILLUMINATI CONFIRMED

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roses are red violets are blue you think shes hot? how BLIND are you?

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What did the fish say when it hit the big stone wall? DAM

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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What do you call somebody from Manchester? A twat

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Why was there a black man and a white man in a bar? Due to the probability of this occurance happening due to percentages of black/white people in a bar, this specific situation should be of no shock, in fact it is a completely normal occurance one of which should not be questioned

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If the covalent bonds of two Hydrogen atoms and one Oxygen atom creates water, which subs are currently on the 5-dollar-foot-long menu at Subway?

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There is something in my butt what is It. My thong

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What is chewy and tastes like gum? Chewing gum.

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A man walks up to an attractive woman and asks "Is it hot in here, or is it just you?" The woman replies "No, it's hot in here. It is a record breaking 114 degrees outside, which means everybody is using their air conditioner. Due to the large amount of energy air condioners require, the power has gone out in this building and the air conditioner is not functional. The tempurature in the building is 103 degrees and three children are in the emergency room because of heat stroke."

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What did the chemist say when his BBQ ran out of charcoal? Nothing interesting.

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What happens when Darth Vader farts? Nothing. Darth Vader's butt was burned off on the volcanic planet of Mustafar and he fell into a lava pit. Darth Vader has since started a program called Darth Vader's butt replacement research foundation. Please donate money today. You could be changing a buttless person's life. Thank you very much.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops