Hey dude, wanna come with me!!!! Sure, where? ON YOUR FACE!!!!!! -_- ........ok sure why not

What did the boy with no arms, no legs, and cancer get for his birthday? AIDS

And love is, bein' the owner of a company that makes rape whistles and even though you started the company with good intentions trying to reduce the rate of rape, now you don't wanna reduce it at all cuz if the rape rate declines you'll see an equal decline in whistle sales. Without rapists, who's gonna buy your whistles? Who's gonna buy your whistles? Love is all about whistles.

What's black and can't climb trees? A parking lot

Q.What do you call a beaver with a unibrow. A. A beaver........it's still a beaver

How many light bulbs does it take to screw a blonde? 3.

I hate it when I try to put my gun on safety but I accidentally shoot u a school full of kid.

A man goes to the doctor and is told, "you have cancer." He then spends his last days writing a bucket list, but losing his leg in a wood chipper before he could complete a single item on his list

Your mother is so fat when she jumps she comes backs down.

How do you fit a whale into a truck bed? You can't, whales live in the ocean.

What do you do if you see an alien landing? This depends entirely on the circumstances under which the landing takes place. It also depends on the observed nature of the alien,but given the high unlikelihood of this occurrence, one may be safe in the knowledge that he or she will never have to deal with such a mental state of stress.

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead dive off a yacht. Unfortunately the yacht is in a shop and all 3 of them sustain injuries following impact with the concrete floor.

What does Pontiac stand for? Nothing. Pontiac's were discontinued

What's big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? Your mom.

Why didn't the parakeet eat my diarrhea? I already ate it.

A drunkard stumbles into the bar. Now he's got thousand's of dollars in medical bills.

What's a pirate's favorite school subject? Pirate math.

What do you call a man with a shovel through his head? Unless he was carrying ID when he died; John Doe.

Whats the difference imbetween a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to hit with a sledge hammer an the other is a watermelon

bill: HEY! your moma so fat bob:so i dont care shes gonna die soon anyway

knock knock get lost!

What do retards say when someone knocks on the door... NOBY HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.....................and that concludes our moment of silence

Three black men get out of a taxy. They split the bill evenly and get on with their day... By Wade

What's gay and nobody likes? Ryan's combover

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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