Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a bed? A: The victim of a serious car accident in a hospital bed.

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What did the blonde do when her car broke down? Made a Facebook status about then called animal control.

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Q: What did the farmer say when he coudn't find his tractor? A: "where's my tractor?"

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If a girl sleeps with 20 guys, she's a slut. If a guy does the same... He's Gay.

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Q: Where can you find a cat with no arms and no legs? A: Right where you left him Q: Where can you find a dog with no arms and no legs? A: In a bun

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke her face

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Don't you sometime just want to chop of your toes and stomp around to prove to the so called 'experts' that it is possible for a person to walk without toes? . . . . . . me neither

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A man walks in on his wife blowing Bubbles. Two weeks later they are divorced.

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I called your friend gay and he hit me with his fist because he was angry at me for using gay in a derogatory way.

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Roses are red, Violets are Violate and not fucking blue.

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Steven hawking walks into a bar. a.w j.p

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Doctor, I am afraid of getting sexually abused. Hmm, sounds serious, take off all your clothes so we can get a proper look.

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What do you do when you walk downstairs and see your TV floating? Call Ghostbusters.

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What's worse then falling up the stairs? Ketchup

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Why won't lance Armstrong survive 2012 Because he has cancer

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What did the Dinosaur say to the other dinosaur when he saw a huge meteor? Oh hey look a meteor.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? I don't know it depends on how hard you throw them.

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Why would you call a child douche bag? Cause they're sterile

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What do you call a blonde who tries to swim on land? - Stupid.

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Sarah Palin

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how did the asian man get on the internet? by opening his internet browser just like everyone else

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that awkward moment when your teachers a duck

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What happened to the man who lost his left arm, left leg and eye in an accident? I expect he claimed insurance, assuming he was prudent enough to insure himself, or his workplace complied with legislation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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