A man is at a party. He gets hungry so he waits in the foodline and then he gets some food. Then he has to go to the bathroom so he waits in the bathroomline and goes to the bathroom. Then he is thirsty so he goes to get some punch and realizes that there is no punchline.

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If life gives you lemons your hallucinating

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Do you like fishsticks No

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A. Knock Knock B. Welcome!

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what do you call a dog with not legs? it doesn't matter what you call it, its not coming

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have you heard of the new german microwave? it seats about 30

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Want to hear a dirty joke? A horse fell in the mud.

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women's rights.

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What did the general say before the soldiers got in the tank? Get in the tank

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What's worse than dropping your ice cream? Getting a virus that slowly deteriorates your body from the inside out.

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What do you call cat that is on fire? Nigel.

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What's the difference between a plane and a Muslim dentist? A plane hasn't dedicated its life to the study of dentistry

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What's black, white, and red all over? A zebra that's been brutally cut open.

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Why was Newton surprised when the apple fell on his head? Because he was sitting under a pear tree.

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What's the difference between an orange? The horse because the vest has no sleeves.

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What did grandma receive for her 75th birthday? Alzheimer's.

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A haiku for you Would not provide enough space To say all the nice

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whats worse than vegetables? Fisting Grandmas

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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A Muslim terrorist walks onto a bus, with the mindset to blow him and the other 27 people. Before he steps onto the bus, he realizes the error in his ways and decides to not follow through. He goes to the airport instead.

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Do dead Elves know it's Xmas ?

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Why did they monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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what the difference between Obama and osama bin laden nothing

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Who thinks amy mc quire is really stuiped

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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