bill: HEY! your moma so fat bob:so i dont care shes gonna die soon anyway

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Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

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What do you call a generally un likeable person who has a habit of drinking in a bar? A Bastard.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them!!!

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knock knock get lost!

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar and the bar says "ouch!"

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Why did the man fall down? Because he was pushed of a 5 story building

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Someone threw a cigarette at me today... What a fag.

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There is no I in Pie except for the I

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Why was Jimmy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his forehead.

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whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew?... Never mind, that was a stupid question.

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You know what really pisses me off? When I drink too much coffee.

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A man walks into a bakery and buys a doughnut. He then starts to drive home when he realised that he'd forgoten to eat the doughtnut and has to returne to do so.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldnt she get up? She had no legs. Knock Knock. Whos There? Not Suzie

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whats black and white and red all over????? a zebra who got shot

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Where can you find elephants? That depends on where you leave them.

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why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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a man gets raped. -teagan doherty-

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What do you call a man with a shovel through his head? Unless he was carrying ID when he died; John Doe.

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canaan and mallory

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Roses are black, Violets are too. I'm colourblind. Stop laughing.

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What's green and blue that is shaped like the earth? The earth

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what's the last thing you want to hear during surgery? your wife complaining

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A woman walks into the kitchen to make a sandwich because she is hungry and she likes sandwiches.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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