What is black, white and red all over? A black man has been shot and a white paramedic is standing over him trying to save his life.

a. how did you shoot the rabbit? b. with my banana

The president, Oprah and Abraham Lincoln are sitting in a crashing airplane. lol

why did the chicken cross the road? dunno. i wasnt there.

Knock Knock Who's There? Bill Bill Who? Builder

Why did the little boy get food poisoning? Because his family can't afford to buy organic food, and can only afford McDonald's burgers, where their cows are forced to stand in their own feces.

What did the statue say to the other statue? Nothing, statues cant speak.

*Knock knock! "Who's there?" "Jehovah's witness" .....

What do you call a dead, black child? Dead.

Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

After tesco's horse burgers, what's next? My lidl pony

If a girl sleeps with 20 guys, she's a slut. If a guy does the same... He's Gay.

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a bed? A: The victim of a serious car accident in a hospital bed.

A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke her face

What did the blonde do when her car broke down? Made a Facebook status about then called animal control.

Q: Where can you find a cat with no arms and no legs? A: Right where you left him Q: Where can you find a dog with no arms and no legs? A: In a bun

Don't you sometime just want to chop of your toes and stomp around to prove to the so called 'experts' that it is possible for a person to walk without toes? . . . . . . me neither

Q: What did the farmer say when he coudn't find his tractor? A: "where's my tractor?"

Steven hawking walks into a bar. a.w j.p

A man walks in on his wife blowing Bubbles. Two weeks later they are divorced.

Doctor, I am afraid of getting sexually abused. Hmm, sounds serious, take off all your clothes so we can get a proper look.

I called your friend gay and he hit me with his fist because he was angry at me for using gay in a derogatory way.

Roses are red, Violets are Violate and not fucking blue.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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