Why did the zuccini fly? I was in an acid trip.

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roses are grey violets are grey so says my color blind cousin

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Why did the black guy buy spray paint? To paint his fence, to keep it from rotting away.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? I'm not sure, he could not unwrap them.

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what's brown and sticky? a stick.

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Why do sea guls fly over the sea? In order to get from place to place, flying is much faster than walking. Sea guls live on a diet of salt-water fish, and the ocean is where their main food supply subsides.

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A christian, a Jew, and a muslim walk into a bar. They order their drinks and have a good night because no one knows they are all of different religions.

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one being irish and the other chinese. now they both happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. so why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china, where as the chinese man had not committed any crime.

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Why do you always find a dead baby in the last place you look? Because once you've found it, you stop looking.

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How do you kill two birds with one stone. You don't its not humanly possible because birds cannot be killed with rocks.

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Is the capitol of Michigan pronounced DEE-troit or de-TROIT? It's pronounced Lansing.

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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A blonde and a brunette are stuck on a desert island, they later died of starvation.

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how big is the moon? why the hell are you asking me?...dumbass.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names.

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You know what's funny? Clowns.

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Why did the sheep cry? Because it contracted cancer

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What's sad about three black men driving over a cliff?

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Why do everytime I go to toilet for number 2. I look into the toilet to see if this one's nicer than the last one.

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Mirror mirror on the wall. Why can't I see?

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what did the dirty homeless girl get for Christmas -A DILDO

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why did the man die? he was shot

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A black man and a mexican are falling off a cliff. Who lands first? The police officer.

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Rachel not blowing Robert.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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