Chuck Norris will inevitably pass away sometime in the future.

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What is the science of classifying living things? Racism...

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"One day this man walks out of his house to go to work. He sees this snail on his porch. So he picks it up and chucks it over his roof, into the back yard. Snail bounces off a rock, cracks its shell all to ****, and lands in the grass. Snail lies there dying. But it doesn't die. It eats some grass. Slowly heals. Grows a new shell. And after a while it can crawl again. One day the snail up and heads back to the front of the house. Finally, after a year, the little guy crawls back on the porch. Right then, the man walks out to go to work and sees this snail again. So he says to it, 'What the f uck's your problem?'" -Training Day

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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If this joke were a potato I would be very confused

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Stoner Student: "Imagine if El Nino and La Nina got together and started a family and had little Los Ninos." Class Nerd: "Yeah."

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Yo mama so fat, her whole family is encouraging her to exercise and go on a diet.

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How do you make a bull angry? Light it on fire

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A black guy walks up to the cash register at a gas station with his hands in his pockets... He pulls out a 5 dollar bill and buys a pack of gum.

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A christian and an atheist are in a bar. The christian says "if you don't accept Jesus Christ as your lord and savior you will go to hell." The atheist replies "No I won't."

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why did the man start living on the street? he lost his job, his wife left him, and had his identity stolen.

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If anyone can read me... I am Michael Jackson and I would really appreciate if someone could get me out of this... box... I mean help! Where am I! I think I have been under a long coma and would appreciate any small boys digging me out... Moral: I hope there is no hell... for my own sake that is...

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What did the fridge say when I opened it? Nothing.

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Knock, Knock? Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Why are you crying? I'm not crying. Oh.

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Knock knock Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interrupting Cow who? ..He died.

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Rose are red, Violets are blue, I have AIDS, Now so do you.

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What do you get when lettuce and oranges come together? I dont know, thats why I asked you.

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What did the fly say to the frog? Nothing, insects can't talk.

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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How do you address a gay, jewish, african male? You can't, as addressing a person would imply mailing them. And that would violate their human rights. As well, the cost of shipping a package of that size would be rather prohibitive

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Q: What's funnier than a baby in a blender? A: A baby in a clownsuit in a blender.

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Q. What do you call cheese that's not yours? A. Stolen, you're under arrest.

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What do you call a hairless penis, whatever gay name you decided to nickname it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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