A man walked into a bar. He was meeting his friends but was 30 minutes early so he went down the road to buy some food. He had recently began dieting after watching a series of lifestyle programs which informed him of the potential risks involved with high cholesterol and blood pressure levels. He purchased a garden salad and a freshly squeezed orange juice, and made it back to the bar in time to meet his friends.

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BIG PENIS

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What's worse than getting an F on your paper? Walking in on a man wearing your mother's skin after vigorously raping her in front of your baby sister.

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Knock Knock whose there? ach ach who? bless you

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A Mexican man is sitting in his mansion.

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Why did the blind kid hit the other kid in the face? He was trying to give him a high-five.

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BF:Roses r red Violets r blue a face like ur's shuld b i n the zoo but dont worry i'll be there but not in the cage but laughing at u. GF:Wanna c a magic trick? POOF ur single

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roses are red violets suck dick i need a wee

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A man is balancing on a bar. But it's a bar where people drink so I don't know how that works.

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Wanna know how to confuse a black guy? Give him a friend chicken sandwich with mayo on it.

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Membean

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What are the two things that the little boy with cancer wants for Christmas? He wants his cancer to go away. He also wants the new Halo game.

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If life throws you melons, you might be dyslexic..

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Knock Knock Who's there? Boo To whom is Boo?

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why did the chicken cross the rode? so it can get the seed that is between the two yellow lines, and then he walked back without getting hit by a car.

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? The entire population.

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Went to a zoo there was a asian shouting GOOZILLA at the reptile house I said no 2 frickly pickles please He said helwo I'm wo pong th pow wice to weet you I said does he come with subtitles Old priest said no the said hello little boy want a mint I said oh thanks I'm not a boy I'm 19 Old priest said no no you can't have one of my special mints I said wait those mints have R's on them are the rainbow mints Old priest no there raspberry I said ok don't be a stranger Old priest said oh I will I said wait your THE PRIEST He said oh I'm just a priest looking for little boys I said no your dead now jumped 30 feet in the air sat on a bird dove into him bird went threw him we made a team promised to clean the world of evil only to find out that we killed the mother of all priest Bird said tweak tweak I said yeah let's hunt them all down Shall the be a part 2 you decide

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A man walks into a bar and says Ouch.

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What's better than being in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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What's black and white and red all over? Two biracial gay guys boning a can of paint...

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Lizzy doesnt shave or shower. She just went to the bathroom in the middle of the school hallway

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What's the difference between a hippopotamus? An orangutan.

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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she was blind and deaf which impairs the ability to register sights and sounds necessary to operate an automobile.

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When is your birthday? November 13 what year? every year

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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