Roses are red. Violets are blue. You're a virgin.

How do you get a nun pregnant? You have sex with her

A little boy ran to the pool to see how long he could hold his breath. He slipped and fractured his skull.

A blonde, brunette and redhead are walking in the forest when they come across a set of tracks. The brunette says, "Those are dear tracks." The redhead says, "Those are elk tracks." The blonde says, "Those are moose tracks." They are then hit by bus.

Why did the little boy chase after his ball? Because it rolled away

What's worse than Fantasy Basketball? Playing Fantasy WNBA.

A: Ask me if I'm a tree. Q: Are you a tree? A: No.

Marrage s like a card game. You start off with 2 hearts and 1 diamond. You end up wishing for a club and a spade!

Why did the maid have to clean feces off the wall? Because I shit cannoned it.

Why is it that we don't eat clowns? Because in most Western countries cannibalism is illegal.

What's the difference between a taxidermist and an astronomer ? They have a different job.

A slutty deer walks into a bar she then comes out and says wow i cant believe i blew 30 bucks

Your mom's your dad's wife. Except when she's not.

YOU AINT GOT NO PANCAKE MIX the preacher then bitchslaps the black man

what sad about 4 mexican dieing in a car crash??? My car

Why was the fat guy sad? his daughter is slowly dying of anorexia why was the fat guy sad? his daughter was raped by a giant panda bear

Yo Mama is so fat that she has to wear large clothes.

What did the Egyptian helicopter do when it went into the pyramid? Exploded.

Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar. Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece?

A blonde walks into a bar. She is rushed to the hospital and treated for a broken nose and a busted lip. She now has a deformed nose.

A boy walks up to a girl and says "Do you like ice cream? Cuz I have a huuuuuge penis."

Ever heard of the dumb blonde joke? You probably wouldn't get it.

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it's in a chicken coop.

Why was the woman bald? She was a Britney spears fan.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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