If life throws you melons, you might be dyslexic..

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Went to a zoo there was a asian shouting GOOZILLA at the reptile house I said no 2 frickly pickles please He said helwo I'm wo pong th pow wice to weet you I said does he come with subtitles Old priest said no the said hello little boy want a mint I said oh thanks I'm not a boy I'm 19 Old priest said no no you can't have one of my special mints I said wait those mints have R's on them are the rainbow mints Old priest no there raspberry I said ok don't be a stranger Old priest said oh I will I said wait your THE PRIEST He said oh I'm just a priest looking for little boys I said no your dead now jumped 30 feet in the air sat on a bird dove into him bird went threw him we made a team promised to clean the world of evil only to find out that we killed the mother of all priest Bird said tweak tweak I said yeah let's hunt them all down Shall the be a part 2 you decide

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Three men are walking on a beach when they find a lamp. They rub it, and a genie comes out. It tells them that they each get one wish, and to choose wisely. They each decide to discuss what to wish for with their wives. Their wives take them to a local hospital, where they receive treatment for hallucinations.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's black and white and red all over? Two biracial gay guys boning a can of paint...

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A car enters a curve. An ice-cream man pops out from a manhole and throws a pine cone to the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

If you are riding on a broomstick and it breaks in the middle of the ocean... How many pieces of toast does it take to fill a light house? Purple, because Oranges cannot fly.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

When is your birthday? November 13 what year? every year

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what's the fastest way to have someone murder you tell your wife you are cheating on her

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you do when your internet goes down? You right click on the internet connection and try to fix the problem.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

sometimes i wonder why is the frisbee getting bigger? then it hits me

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Man frantically runs into a bar, he suffers brain damage and cannot remember anything about his life. Though he tries to make everything go back to the way it once was, he and his wife grow distant and their family falls apart.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did billy go to the beach? To spread his moms ashes on the sand.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

1: What is a gum wrapper with no gum? 2: A wrapper? 1: No.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did one Lacrosse player say to the other? Let's touch shafts

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no hands.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

the girl crossed a road to shoot a black van. she shot the sherrif.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the lady find when she walked through the door? Her husband stabbing himself to death because she ate his cornflakes

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A baby walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and says, "what'll ya have, Sport?" The baby's family runs in with a video camera screaming for joy over his first steps.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

whats black and goes to newy high Manyiel

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you kill a woman? Let her drive

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How did little Timmy die? He was ripped to shreds by a violent badger.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A mexican man killed a black man yesterday. It had nothing to do with his race, he just had a very rough childhood and wasn't taught moral values.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops