My mother forgot to make me a sandwich today.

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What's the difference between Al Gore and a slab of formica? Many things, most obvious being that Al Gore is a conscious being.

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You're*

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You know what's funny? Clowns.

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What was the first thing the mother did when her baby was born? Weep. The baby was a was a stillborn.

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Why did the sheep cry? Because it contracted cancer

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How does a girl with no arms swing on the swing? She doesn't, she has no arms.

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Why did the boy give the girl flowers? Because her parents died in a car crash and he felt bad.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names.

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Why was the boy sad? He had just had his legs amputated and will never walk again.

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row row row your boat gently down the stream rape

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What did the foot say to the other foot? Nothing, because they are feet.

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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theres a giant burning orb in the sky and it can burn your flesh, it can give you diseases, it can kill you, looking directly at it causes physical pain, and we all think this is okay. we like this orb. we like to go outside and lie around on our backs when this orb is in the sky. children draw cute pictures of this levitating death orb with a smiley face on it. what is wrong with us

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Do you know who's gay? Homosexuals.

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a burglar walks in a house the alarm goes off and the police come

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Whats worst then listening to you girl friends problems? Nothing.

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What happened to your hamster? It died.

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why did the man die? he was shot

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the old man fell down the stairs and broke his leg, he then went to the hospital and got a cast. later that day he went home and ate soup

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Why do everytime I go to toilet for number 2. I look into the toilet to see if this one's nicer than the last one.

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what do you call a black man on tv? an actor

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What did the collage professor say to the plumber? Hi.

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One man's trash is another man's treasure is a horrible way to tell a kid that he's adopted

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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