How do you kill two birds with one stone. You don't its not humanly possible because birds cannot be killed with rocks.

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Why do everytime I go to toilet for number 2. I look into the toilet to see if this one's nicer than the last one.

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Mirror mirror on the wall. Why can't I see?

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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A blonde and a brunette are stuck on a desert island, they later died of starvation.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names.

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row row row your boat gently down the stream rape

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Is the capitol of Michigan pronounced DEE-troit or de-TROIT? It's pronounced Lansing.

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What do you call a black person on a bike? A cyclist.

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a cat a dog and a penis meet up. The cat said ur lucky, when you have to pee u can go wherever you want. the dog said your lucky you can go in a litter box. the penis said your lucky u dont have to put a ballon over your head and do pushups till you throw up!!!

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What's black and hangs from a tree? A bat.

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Whats worse than a baby crying on a plane. 9/11

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James' father died from being overweight. The next day in the mail, James received a coupon for Skinny's garcinia cambogia pills to help him lost weight. Simply put, it was not a good day for James.

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what did the big chimney say to the little chimney ?? your to young to smoke

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A: Ask me if I'm a tree. Q: Are you a tree? A: No.

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What was the last song those aboard the Titanic sang? "Staying alive"

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I was going to tell a Holocaust joke, but I Jews not to. Anne Frankly, it's disrespectful. I'm sure you did Nazi that Hitlerious anti-joke coming.

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How do stop a clown from laughing? Hit in the face with a hatchet.

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What did the collage professor say to the plumber? Hi.

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What do bicycles and platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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Q: What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? A: A funeral.

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Knock Knock. Go Away!

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Who could be happier than a kid at a candyshop? A necrophiliac in a morgue

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What's worse than five babies in one trash can? One baby in five trash cans.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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