What do you think JFK would be doing if he was alive today? Yelling for help and trying to somehow escape his coffin.

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What is brown and sticky. Hot chocolate.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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9

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What is Debbie short for? She has no legs.

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What is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant scorpion

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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What did the boy with no social skills say to the bully? I KNOW U ARE BUT WHAT AM I

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Why did carly drop her groceries Carly is a cow

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"You two form fours while I get the other one"

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What's worse than loading babies into a garbage truck. Answore: unloading them with a pitch fork.

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How come the man couldnt read the directions? He was reading it upside down.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house... Knock knock Who's there? The Chincken

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In the weeks following the original release of Die Hard, reports sprung up across the nation of impressionable boys overdosing while masturbating.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.

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How do you make a baby float? 1 can root bear 2 scoop baby

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Q: How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? A: They beat her.

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So you are "The Nero" are you not? How ironic... ...I got nothing on you, let me ask you however, why did you quit the underground society? What changed your lifestyle so much? I mean I accept that you did not do it out of fear or cowardice, but why did you leave it up to the rest of us to try to hold together the last remains of freedom and social information? What? To use your techniques in order to entrance people into buying your books? How is that so different? I am not saying that I consider your methods lesser, because nobody here does, but if you can explain how this makes you better, I would appreciate it, I am certain that most people would.

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A jewish man, a black man, and a redhead walk into an electronics store. Because they work there.

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roses arent always red, they can be pink or white. violets are violet, not blue. your pretty lets have sex.

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Me: Why are red onions actually purple..? Dad: I don't know Sister: *sarcastic* Well, Why is it rainy in London? Me: ....Because that's the weather pattern.

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(for comedians) I went to a coffee shop the other day. I ordered a coffee then sat down. Behind me there were two people talking. I didn't eves drop because it's impolite so I drank my coffee and left.

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A black man, Jew, and Asian walk into a bar... What does the bartender say? get out.

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Why did little Tommy eat an apple? Because he was hungry. Thats why.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops