Why did the zuccini fly? I was in an acid trip.

roses are grey violets are grey so says my color blind cousin

Where do 4 Mexicans in a car go? In the Car Pool lane.

how do you make a cat blink? strike him with a hammer.

In Soviet Russia it is normally colder than america and most people speak russian.

Think of a fruit that isn't an orange ... You're thought of a pear, didn't you?

What did the martian say to the other martian when he saw a fire hydrant? "Hey look, I found a fire hydrant!"

whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews are productive members of society. -Canis

What's black and hangs from a rope on a tree in my backyard? A tire swing.

What did the wife say to her husband when he arrived home from work? Nothing. She cried over his coffin. Her husband was a marine who died in a car bombing in Iraq.

How does a girl with no arms swing on the swing? She doesn't, she has no arms.

A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

Why wasn't Johnny at school today? Because he died in childbirth.

Why did the sheep cry? Because it contracted cancer

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

What did the boy with no eyes get for Christmas? Glasses

Grammer is very important

You know what's funny? Clowns.

What's sad about three black men driving over a cliff?

A christian, a Jew, and a muslim walk into a bar. They order their drinks and have a good night because no one knows they are all of different religions.

What do you call a black man running with a TV? A hard working individual who is in a rush to watch his new TV that he bought.

Why do you always find a dead baby in the last place you look? Because once you've found it, you stop looking.

You see how lame this is?

there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one being irish and the other chinese. now they both happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. so why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china, where as the chinese man had not committed any crime.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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