What's gay, has ten eyes and is gay. One D. Kelvin Yang.

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why'd the chicken cross the road? he didn't what kind of farmer lets their chickens out on the streets, they get crunk you know

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What did the soldier say when he got shot in the face? Nothing, he died.

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How to you get a clown off a swing? You shoot it in the face.

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School

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What is translucent and smells like a carrot ? A translucent carrot.

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why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a date-rapist

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How many babies can you fit in a toilet? To be exact you would have to do all this math, so I tested it out myself and got 7.6.

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A dyslexic canadian walks into an arab

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What do you call a dirty black person? Unhygienic

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a WAFFLE!

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whats the difference between and clorox wipe and a paper towel? a clorox wipe is wet.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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What happens when a jewish man, black man, asian and an amish man get on the same plane heading to Chicago? The reach their destinations safely and go their separate ways.

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One day a child goes to the doctor and says, "it hurts when do this" as he pokes his throat. The doctor, after several well-performed deep tissue testing, diagnosed the child with stage four esophageal cancer. The child cried himself to sleep that night.

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Roses are red violets are ponies I dont know what to say mircowave

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Cripples are lame.

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Where do 4 Mexicans in a car go? In the Car Pool lane.

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What's green and looks like a red apple? A green apple

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What did God say when he saw the first black man? What a wonderful creation I have made.

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Because Seven was a terrorist.

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Roses are red, Violets are unicorns, This s h i t doesn't make sense, Refrigerator.

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how come the jews were not laughing? because they were in a concentration camp

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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