Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gestapo.

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Row row row your boat Right to KFC Put some kool-aid in your cup And toast to you and me

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what does the nba stand for? Nothing But Africans

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Why did I kill the Muslim because I'm smart

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My mom always said it was fun to jump into a pile of leaves... That was before she was devoured by a 10 ft. scorpion.

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A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.

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Once upon a time there was a nice old man who loved to ride his bike... He unfortunately died when he had a heart attack.

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Why Can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Polite cow who recognizes normal social cues and civilly waits for its turn to contribute to a conversation. Polite cow who recognizes normal social cues and civilly waits for its turn to contribute to a conversation who? Moo.

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How many pancakes does it take to fill up a doghouse? None, because ice cream doesn't have bones.

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Women's rights

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How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

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Q: Why is the Universe so big? A: Because it is the same size as my penis.

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a black man kills a family member of a mexican guy. the mexican guy goes to the police, what happens? The mexican guy gets deported back to his country after they realize that he was illegal

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i drive all the time its no big deal open the door and get behind the wheel

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When life gives you lemons... Be thankful you're not starving, a**hole.

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Why did you not just "put a spell" on her instead? And you are totally mean, ever actually killed someone?

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Why does blond women give great blowjob? Because they has vaacum in thier heads! Blond woman coment; well thats better than having nothing at all in your head! :-)

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whats the difference between jimmy saville and a horse? jimmy has a bigger cock

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Why did the fisherman die on a fishing trip? He had a heart attack.

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Waiter, waiter, there's a fly in my soup! That's not a fly, it's a gnat.

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What did the Nazi say to the farmer? Sie sind Juden versteckt

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops