Goats are like mushrooms, if you shoot a duck, I'm scared of toasters. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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A man is walking in the desert, alone and lost, when suddenly he finds a lamp. The man picks up the lamp and to his surprise, a genie bursts out of the lamp ! The genie says to the man: "Thank you, kind man! You have freed me from this prison I have been in for a million years. I am in your dept and will grant you three wishes." The man replies: "Wow, you've been in there for a million years and all you have to give me are three wishes?" The genie was really sad to hear of the man's lack of appreciation and flew away, leaving the man. The man eventually died of starvation and dehydration.

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Knock, Knock Why did you just say knock knock?

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Your mama is so fat that when she farted she called it global warming

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot.... ya' damn racist!

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What's the difference between a tigar and a shark? One's a land mammal.

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what do you get when you cross a giraffe and an octopus an abomination

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he was peckish.

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why was the girl screaming? She was getting raped from behind by her dad.

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this is not a joke

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Steve Jobs Died today. So did 56 million other people.

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Reading books

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Why did the black man leave the bar? Someone shot his girlfriend.

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You're mother is so retarded that I probably shouldn't be making fun of her because it would be considered discriminatory.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? Names.

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What do you call a black man about to jump off a cliff? Suicidal

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Whats the difference between platinum blondes? Absolutley nothing they all look exactly the same.

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why doesnt jesus play hockey? he got nailed to the boards

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Why did the black guy get hit by a train? I strapped him to the tracks

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Why did the chicken cross the street? Because it followed the trail of bird feed strewn across it.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Clever rhyming punch line refrigerator

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What do you call a boy with no arms or legs? Chris

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Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks.

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why didnt the man go to the wedding? he wasnt invited.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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