Why was the sex offender sweating in the playground? Because he was pushing his over weight son on the swing.

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I just found out i have cancer.

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Want to here a joke? The First Amendment.

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So, a giraffe walks into a bar and orders six martinis and shame on for wanting a punch line this giraffe needs help.

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What's small and harmless, but deadly when thrown at high speeds? A baby.

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What did Chuck Norris say to the man that asked for his autograph? He happily obliged and continued on with his day.

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OR SOMETHING! VOLUME ONE SPECIAL ALPHA MAN EDITION: What do you do if you are in the jungle, and surrounded by a tiger, and a jaguar and have only one bullet left in the rifle? You shoot the damn jaguar in its tire, and RIDE THE GODDAMN TIGER BACK HOME! MORAL MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN! THE FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD R*PIST!(Yes I also wrote the original kay?)

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When life throws you lemons, duck cuz they freakin' hurt

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What did winter say to summer? Nothing. Seasons are physically incapable of speaking because they are not living things. They are simply an idea made by humans to explain why the weather changes as the sun spins around the earth.

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Cum on guys....gay jokes are mean

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Why does Santa wear sleigh bells? Because he's got leprosy.

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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Hitler, Goebbels and Göring walked into a bar. They ordered 3 steins and took their seats in quiet corner of the establishment. After short deliberation they were ready to start work on building a highway that would be the envy of the world.

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How do you count all the jews in a village? The United States Census Bureau usually has reliable data so I would start there

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A man walks into bar and orders a drink. The bartender says " Hey I saw a bunch of men coming in and out of your house while you were on vacation last week." The man replied " I know. That's because my wife is a prostitute."

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You wanna hear something dirty? A pile of garbage. That's dirty.

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Q /why do people eat dinner? A/ because their hungry

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Why wasn't the crow allowed on the plane? He had too much carrion luggage

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because 7 was a sixoffender!

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When you cross a bird on the sidewalk what do you do??? Run in big circles.

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Why did blink-182 get a record deal? Because they play quality punk rock.

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Whats worse than three dead women in a ditch ? 4 dead women in a ditch.

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A horse walks into a bar, realizes that he shouldnt be here so he walks out.

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the WNBA

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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