why did the kid get a bad grade he didnt study

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Why was the child lying in the scrap yard? because he was being torn apart by guard dogs.

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How do you get a Jew into a car? Tell him to get in the car.

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What's the difference between Chuck Norris and broccoli? A lot.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey Everything is grey I am a dog

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How do you make Mandy Ann shut up? Clown Car

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Why did the man have a curiously-shaped scar on his cheek? He had been mauled by an owl as a child.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven has a hook for one of his hands carries a chain saw in the other an gets into six's dreams...thats just scary

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Justin's humor

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How many Manatees does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, assuming Manatees have hands.

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Where did a homeless man find his easter eggs? In the bin.

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Roses are blue Violets are red Crap, I already messed up the joke.

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Why did the kid fail? He procrastinated.

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Why did Alex die? He choked on a semi truck

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How do you make an anti joke? You ask a question that could have a presumably amusing answer, but make the joke less amusing by stating an obvious answer, therefore completely bamboozling the victim of the anti joke, and making you seem like a man that has a lot of common sense.

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven raped his mother

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Roses are red, violetes are blue, Your monkey sucks.

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This one time at band camp....

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Doris was putting up Christmas lights when he noticed the bulb's suddenly came on. He was puzzled at first, as he hadn't plugged them in. He climbed down the ladder and found that it was his son, Robby who had plugged the lights in.

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Question: What did Mr. Reeves say. Answer: Nothing

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Knock, Knock Who's There? (Silence) Wondering who was there, the man opened the door, to find a baby in a basket in front of him.

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What worse than rain Osama Bin Laden

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I was Writing and i broke my pencil

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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