how do you beat up 3 year old with ease? you beat her up, 3 years can't fight for shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the blind kid hit the other kid in the face? He was trying to give him a high-five.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a sandwich that has sandwich on it? A sandwich.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you say to a black man on the street? Hello.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

No.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Moderately entertaining story, friend.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do u kill a mocking bird ? Stab it

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How much booze did the homeless man drink? All of it. He is severely depressed.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the dog bite justin beiber? Why not?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's better than being in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I told you it would happen

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Fine, just remember that I want to help you, but you cannot ask me for help, and then throw a shitstorm of accusations at me, I have never worked for the feds and never will, I know nothing about their code of operations nor... Anything really. Let me give you an advice, I know that at least two people you trusted deeply betrayed you, but if you are not going to trust anyone again, then leave point zero while you still can do so alive. And no babe, this is not a threat, its advice.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Did you hear about the guy that dropped the soap in prison? He apparently gripped it a bit too tightly causing it to slip out of his hands, but managed to pick it up promptly and finish showering with no further incidence.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

When life gives you lemons ....go murder a clown.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What'sucks and white Jackson

thumb_up thumb_down -15

So tell me what’s worse than a baby? A dead baby… Well then what’s worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies… And what’s worse than a pile of dead babies? A live baby sitting on top of a pile of dead babies… And what’s worse than a live baby sitting on top of a pile of dead babies? A live baby eating it’s way out of a pile of dead babies…

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Hey, what’s your problem? I’m a Catholic whore currently enjoying congress out of wedlock with my black, Jewish boyfriend who works in a military abortion clinic. So, hail Satan, and have a lovely afternoon, madam. a.w. j.p.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

John and Sarah sitting in a tree. K i s s i n g. First comes love. Oops theres goes john-- he's falling---he's falling... he's broken his neck and ruptured his internal organs. D e a t h

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's more fun than a negative pregnancy test? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A panda walks into a bar... Psht. Panda in a bar, that's impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

KNOCK KNOCK who's there? hello is anybody there? hello?....... .....the number your trying to reach has been removed please hang up the door knob and put the squirrel back in the lawnmower were it belongs.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

"Well, you done done me and you bet I felt it; I tried to be chill, but then I realized that when used as an adjective, 'chill' refers to the temperature." -Jason Mraz

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops