How do you starve a black man? Take away his current food stocks, and means of income.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

How do you stop your child from picking his nose? Cut his hands off

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What did the pimp do to his bitch? He thanked her and rewarded her for her years of dedication and preserverance

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Life gave me onions. Onionaide Sucks

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A man walks outside on a sunny day. Since the sun was very bright, he put on a pair of sunglasses. While this was going on, nothing else really happened and he went on with his day as usual.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

EAT YOUR DINNER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did John go outside? His house was on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A midget walks under a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A Panda walks into a bar and orders a drink, he then shoots the bartender and leaves. The people are shocked and the panda is arrested.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

what did the chinese guy say to the black guy? hello

thumb_up thumb_down +37

How do you burn a lot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Unless you're paralyzed.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 is a homophobe and 7 is a little fruity.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down +35

An Atheist and a Christian are walking along a sidewalk going in opposite directions when suddenly the Atheist sneezes. The Christian says "God Bless You!" Even though the Atheist doesn't believe in God he understand that the gesture was a kind one and so he nods and politely says "Thank you!" before going on about his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

what does the NAACP stand for? Now Apes Are Called People.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How do you fit 100 jews in a car? It wouldn't work.. Nevermind.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How do you get a pirate out of your seat? Politely ask him to move for you were there first.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Two cows are standing on the top of North Pole and in a half-inch wind they're spanking a bottle of coconut jam. Suddenly two infrared gallopping fly past them. What's the consequence? That people shouldn't use freshly peeled lemoncakes on underwater cornfields.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

There is a high speed police pursuit when suddenly the suspect's car skids and crashes into a field. Two cows witness the commotion, when one turns to the other and says "Moo".

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why was the broom late? Cause he overSWEPT!!! ahahahahahaha!

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did the black man say about Linkin Park? That there's obviously a rapist in their midst and they should all be questioned.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

An Irish man walks out of a bar..... 'nuff said

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the chicken cross the road? No soap, radio!

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops