Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

I now pronounce you man and lion. You may now kiss the pride.

Why was the blonde sent to prison? Well there could be a number of reasons, but I for one do not know this specific blonde so I can not help you.

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? It was simply tired of being mocked and judged by society.

What mouse walks on 2 legs, Micky mouse. What duck walks on 2 legs, All ducks you dip shit.

TIMMAH!

What's worse than losing $100 at the racetrack? Losing at Russian Roulette

What kinds of children go to heaven dead ones

One time I masturbated by myself

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was in a cage being carried by a farmer.

Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

whats the only concert you can get into for 45 cents? a 50 cent concert featuring Nickelback

Why did Max drink the red Gatorade? Because he likes it more than all of the other flavors.

Knock knock. Who's there? The police, your family is dead.

Mommy mommy I don't want to see grandma. Shut up and keep digging.

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? I don't know. He couldn't open it.

What's black and white and red all over? A pile of dead, mixed-race babies.

OK. so a guy walks up to another guy and says hi. The other guy said nothing. The other guy said hi again. The guy said nothing The guy got really mad and slapppeed him across the face. Finally the man said PURPLE RABBID COMPUTER TREES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and walked away while liking his blue brick.

What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

What is the difference between a circle and a cylinder? dunno

nipple

Whats worse than runing over a box of kittens? Runing over two boxes of kittens.

What did the man do after he rented a movie? He watched it

A Guy walks into a bar Ouch

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...