Q: What happened to the blonde who tried to commit suicide? A: She died.

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So snoop dog drank some milk! :)

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How is an orange like an airplane? They both have wings except an orange doesn't have wings

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What ended the black family's picnic? Rain.

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What's the difference between you and yourself? Yourself has 4 more letter in it.

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How many fingers does Charlie Sheen have? 8. and 2 thumbs. just like most everybody else.

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How do you kill a blonde? Shoot her.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Milkman! Milkman who? ....Timmy....I've been coming here for FOURTEEN YEARS! AND YOU CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER MY NAME?!?! I drove your mom to the hospital when you were born since your father is such a deadbeat. I helped pick out your name!! I'm sorry I wasn't born into wealth like you. I'm sorry I have to go door to door handing out milk for other people! I have been coming here every week for FOURTEEN YEARS! But no Timmy, no, don't try to remember my name. Just forget about all the laughs we have had. Or that time i left my family on Christmas because your mother needed me to go find you that Turbo man doll. I saved you from a burning vehicle! I helped you win your third grade science fair! Remember? I have a picture of us and that robot right here in my wallet. I show it to people all the time! Here's me and my...my pal Timmy. Well Timmy, this is it. You shan't see me again.

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Why did the groom have cold feet? Because he was insecure in his relationship with his soon to be wife.

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How do you stop your child from picking his nose? Cut his hands off

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How do you starve a black man? Take away his current food stocks, and means of income.

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What did the pimp do to his bitch? He thanked her and rewarded her for her years of dedication and preserverance

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Life gave me onions. Onionaide Sucks

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what did the chinese guy say to the black guy? hello

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How do you burn a lot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

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A Panda walks into a bar and orders a drink, he then shoots the bartender and leaves. The people are shocked and the panda is arrested.

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A midget walks under a bar

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Why did John go outside? His house was on fire.

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A man walks outside on a sunny day. Since the sun was very bright, he put on a pair of sunglasses. While this was going on, nothing else really happened and he went on with his day as usual.

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Unless you're paralyzed.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 is a homophobe and 7 is a little fruity.

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An Atheist and a Christian are walking along a sidewalk going in opposite directions when suddenly the Atheist sneezes. The Christian says "God Bless You!" Even though the Atheist doesn't believe in God he understand that the gesture was a kind one and so he nods and politely says "Thank you!" before going on about his day.

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How do you get a pirate out of your seat? Politely ask him to move for you were there first.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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