Hey, I just met you And this is crazy, but GET IN THE VAN

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What you reading? reading?

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What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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Why, you might ask, did in fact the chicken cross this all too infamous road? His grandma-ma phoned the righteous bird and requested a visit. Chickens never displease their family.

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School

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What is the best kind of necro? Dead necro.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and an apple? I don't cum on an apple before I eat it.

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What is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant scorpion

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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Rudolf the rednosed reindeer died today. He was reported flying over Madrid when he was hit by a jumbo jet and a flock of seagulls. People are now saying that the reindeer in Spain was hit mainly by the plane.

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What do a tree and a boy have in common? They both cry when you hit them with an axe... except the tree.

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On monday morning the doctor walked into a patient's room, then he walked out after a quick check up.

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If you have a large penis.give this joke a thumbs up. ( :

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Knock Knock Go Away

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Are you from Tennessee? Because you accent is really not hiding it

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" ding dong " person in side: wait aren't u supposed to knock knock

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How do you say "Hello" in India? 1. Get a plane ticket and fly to India 2. Say Hello in India

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knock knock. come in.

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The king has three daughters. One day, one of the daughters comes into his room and asks, "Father, why is my name Rose?" King replies,"well, a rose petal fell on your head when you were a baby." The next day, the second daughter comes into his room and asks,"Father, why is my name Tulip?" the king replies,"A tulip fell on your head when you were a bay." On the next day, the final daughter comes in and says, "BLAJSFUAGHASRAKKKKKK." The king says,"Shut up, Cinderblock."

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yo mamma's so fat, she decided to go on a diet

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Q. whats piggy called A. Patrick gearthey

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What did Batman say to Robin before going into the Batmobile? Get in the car.

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How do you kill the circus? You chop it's head off.

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Why cant helen keller drive Because shes a woman

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops