What did the soldier say when he got shot in the face? Nothing, he died.

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Whats green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have amnesia Roses are red

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Why did carly drop her groceries Carly is a cow

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What do a tree and a boy have in common? They both cry when you hit them with an axe... except the tree.

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What do Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder have in common? They are both blind.

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why did the man fart? because he felt like it.

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Rudolf the rednosed reindeer died today. He was reported flying over Madrid when he was hit by a jumbo jet and a flock of seagulls. People are now saying that the reindeer in Spain was hit mainly by the plane.

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A horse walks into a bar and doesnt order a drink. Because he cant.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a WAFFLE!

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what did the black man eat for dinner? whatever his wife makes for him to eat

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One day a child goes to the doctor and says, "it hurts when do this" as he pokes his throat. The doctor, after several well-performed deep tissue testing, diagnosed the child with stage four esophageal cancer. The child cried himself to sleep that night.

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Why do you always loose your keys at monster truck rally's? Most likely because they fell out during all the excitement of jumping up and down, but the real reason is because they are afraid of monster cars.

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boy: you want to hear something funny? girl: what? boy: women's rights girl: you want to hear something trivial? boy: what? girl: your penis

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joke

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Your Mom is so fat... I'm sorry I didn't mean that.. I have abandonment issues.

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So you are "The Nero" are you not? How ironic... ...I got nothing on you, let me ask you however, why did you quit the underground society? What changed your lifestyle so much? I mean I accept that you did not do it out of fear or cowardice, but why did you leave it up to the rest of us to try to hold together the last remains of freedom and social information? What? To use your techniques in order to entrance people into buying your books? How is that so different? I am not saying that I consider your methods lesser, because nobody here does, but if you can explain how this makes you better, I would appreciate it, I am certain that most people would.

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what did the boy say? please please please please goout with me

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jimmy carr walks into a tax office.

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Why did the boy only have one arm? tigers make terrible pets

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Why did the pirate say to the donkey? Rrrrrrrrrrr you a donkey?

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.

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Whats black and white with red all over? A dead panda

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why was 6 afraid of 7 He raped him the other day

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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