Q: What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas. A: A bicycle.

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Q:what has four legs, is green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? A:a pool table

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Q.) What did the young child of a highly idiosyncratic family do when he heard the fire-alarm going off unexpectedly in his house? A.) He started to panic since he hadn't received any portions of formal insturction in the art of, "Stop, drop and roll", prior to the moment of the lamentable catastrophe. I think that we should blame his parents/teachers immediately... *Sigh*

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A worm slowly crawled through the ground, only to be eaten by an incoming bird.

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Roses are red my shirt is blue don't take my money, their not for u -_-

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How do you tell the difference between a bomb and an Asian? One blows up.

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What would George washington do if he was still alive He isn't so we dont have to worry about that.

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How do you get a boy out of bed, you cut off his fingers.

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Yeah, and speaking about spiderman, I got some weird senses, when I get stressed things begin seeming slower, and gets a weird blur effect, not sure what it is, but if you know what "bullet hell video games are" Technically games where you play as a tiny spaceship and lots of bullets fly around, I was always awesome at those games as a kid, because the more stress I felt while playing, the slower my perception of time felt.

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An asian, black man and a white guy are stranded in a desert with no food and no water, so what do they do Die

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Why did blink-182 get a record deal? Because they play quality punk rock.

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Whats the next Line? YAH YAH YAH YAH YAH....

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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Why did the Billy flunk the test? His parents were killed in a refridgerator

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What is the answer to the question of Life, the Universe and Everything? That doesn't make any sense.

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What did the preist say to the other preist? 'hey! we're both preists!'

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Whats worse than 1 bee sting... 2 bee stings Whats worse than 2 bee stings... The hollacaust Whats worse than the hollacaust... 3 BEE STINGS!!!

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Did you hear about the Pole who studied for 5 days?

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4 black men wearing ski masks and stripped jumpers kicked my door open and ran into my house knocking over and breaking things. They then realised this was not their friends house, apologised, paid for the damaged and left for the fancy dress party.

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A woman is home washing her dishes when she suddenly slips banging her head on a cabinet. She passed out for a few seconds, then woke to find a great gash on her left cheek, fairly spurting blood. At the emergency room, the doctor asks, "How did this happen?" The woman replied, "My boy friend tried to drown me."

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Whats worse than 2 holocausts? 2 and one tenth of a holocaust

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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What is small and gives people courage? Certain kinds of illegal drugs

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Why do black people enjoy watermelon? Because it tastes good.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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