What do you call a fish with no eyes? A blind fish, who had a horrible accident with a fishing hook

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Hit by a bus Why did the bus driver drop his coffee? He hit the boy

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Knock knock. Come in.

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Two guys walk into a bar. Whoops did I say bar? I meant Hiroshima 1945. They got radiation poisoning and died slow painful deaths.

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How do you get a kid to shut up? You ducttape his mouth,legs, and arms and throw him in a pit

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have arms.

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Roses are red Violets are tits I like tits Tits

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A girl asked for lip balm. She put some on and her lips exploded.

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What is the difference between Boyscouts and Jews? Boyscouts come home from camp.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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whats worse then getting fired from your job? Getting raped by a giant gorilla with a 4 foot long penis following by being bitten by a very poisonous rattle snake and slowly dying a painful death.

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why was the man gay? Because its not a choice. its a lifestyle.

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How many Jews fit in an oven? Nein

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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Why did the plane leave late? Because they were out of Kellogg's® Breakfast Cereal.

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roses are red violets are blue ur family is dead and u will die too

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If she is under the age of 18 years old and is identified by your state as a minor, shes too young for you bro.

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whats worse than being late to school haveing your family killed by an angry peice of toast

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What's worse than molding bread? Babies in the toaster.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To try and get hit by a car.

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black people - basketball rednecks- nascar mexicans- soccer asians- uuuuuh I don't know can i get a hint

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how do you decrease the unemployment figures? abolish lidle, aldi, and netto

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What do you call an old man who took too much viagra? And ambulance, because he could possibly get a heart attack from the fluctuations in blood pressure

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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