What do you call a politician on fire? A tragic death for the American public..

21

Why did Susy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Susy.

What's faster than a Jew running after a penny? A car.

How many Manatees does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, assuming Manatees have hands.

I share two rooms with my mother.

A black man walks into a bar and is proptly told to leave. He proceeds to sue the bar owner, then buys the bar and turns it into a community center that helps at risk children.

what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

What did one cow say to the other cow? nothing cows cant talk. They did however, exchange glances while chewing grass next to each other.

Knock Knock! Who's there? I am.

Q. If the early bird gets the worm, what does the early worm get? A. Eaten...

Why did they monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

*spongebob voice* 25

What's green, long, and covered in forks? Grass. I lied about the forks.

There's a car about to hit me.

Whats cooler than cool? Ice Cold.

How many blind men does it take to change a light bulb?

What did the man without a tongue say...

Give a man a fire and he will be warm for the rest of the night. Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

After the haitian revolution, Haiti lived happily ever after, Until god smited them with a devastating natural disaster

Want to get shot? Go to Virginia Tech. Too Soon?

There was once a family of tomatoes. A daddy tomato a mommy tomato and a baby tomato. they decided one day to take a walk. but the baby was taking forever so the daddy tomato walked back STOMPED on him and yelled "CATCHUP"

Q: What do you call Justin Bieber with a penis? A: Darn good plastic surgery.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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